Alright, my girlfriend of almost 2 years broke up with me around September of 05. Since then, I've been feeling depressed over it off and on. Once the semester ended in mid december it hit pretty hard. Background info: met girlfriend when we were really young, 13 and 14 I believe (i'm a year and a half older). Started dating seriously a year and a half or so later. We both seemed to have a much stronger connection than most people I knew in relationships at the time. We didn't just hang out to experiement sexually and kill time, I really love(d) her for the person she has been. Extremely sweet, very beautiful, and a very outgoing friend. She claims to have felt the same way for me when we were together. She says she just needed some space because she's been with me for so long and hasn't had a chance to experience her more adult life as a single person without having to be dependent on me. It's been 4 months and I'm fucking sick of feeling like shit over this girl. While nothing happened to ruin the relationship (cheating, etc), she refuses to give it another try or anything. I personally was in a great spot and was loving life, so to take away the one person I could talk to about all that shit and go out and have a great time without having to drink a lot of beer, and my source of booty, obviously has quite a devestating effect. I chose to not see her at all (she wanted to be friends) and keep communication to a minimum, however tonight we met up for a few hours and talked... half the time we just shot the shit and acted like friends, but the other half we talked about what had happened between us. It's not going anywhere. She won't admit it, but her feelings obviously aren't very strong for me. Why else would she choose to be without me? Regardless, I want to feel better, but I only seem to be getting worse as time goes on. I cried tonight (albeit for only a minute) for the first time since I was 12 years old. I'm up at 3:45AM even though I've been in bed since 2. This whole time between september and now I've been trying to go on without thinking of her, but every day, seemingly every minute, she pops into my head. I'm 18 years old, and I have 3 good friends and some acquaintences. I'm having a serious jaw surgery on wednesday (it's currently monday) and I'm going to have to take this semester's courses online because I will be drugged up and in pain, not to mention having my jaw rubberbanded shut for a couple weeks and my face swollen to hell for a month. Given all of this, I really have no way to meet girls any time soon, and I guess I feel like that if I don't have a special girl in my life then I'm not living... so unless I find some way to deal with that, I'll be spending my nights the same as I am now: distressed and depressed over my ex-gf. Hopefully I'll be able to bury my face into books rather than ignore them and fail my classes. I'm sick of this bs bringing me down. Any support or advice is much appreciated.