LOVE Having children...

[Pen Is Mightier]

I know this is a touchy feely topic for a lot of people, but let's try to keep it respectful.

What do you guys/girls think of having a lesbian couple having a child and raising it(sperm donor/adoption)? Gay couple(surrogate/adoption)?

Do you WANT to have children? WILL you have children? (Yes those are two different questions, WANTS and ACTIONS are different).

Here is my idea.

First, I think it is "better" for a lesbian couple to raise a child than a gay couple. It seems easier for two women to raise a child properly than two guys and society I feel would look down on it less than a gay couple. I think two guys raising a child could do a fine job but I think they would receive too much crap in school for it.

I WANT to have a child but...I would want it to be my OWN, meaning I would want it to have half of my DNA and half of a surrogate's DNA. I would probably "accept" an adopted child but would prefer my own. Again this is what I WANT. I would not in reality have a child though because I would not want my son/daughter to have an overly stressful/sad life because of the pressure/picking on they would receive throughout their ENTIRE life starting in elementary school. They would be picked on or beat up by students and I'm sure teachers would do something that would make them feel awkward. Then as they get older they would have to deal with being a teenager in this awkward situation and then eventually live with it their entire life.

I'm not saying it's a horrible thing to do or anything...who knows maybe my ideas will change and I'll have a son or daughter but right now I don't think it is fair to the child to put them through that so that I can feel better by having a child.

Now it's your turn.

 

[XPX]

I'm still undecided, I want a child...badly...but I'm not ready in many aspects.

 

[RyRy]

Yes I want children and Yes I will have them!

 

[LA02MAX]

One of the main reasons I hate being gay...I've always wanted children but I would want both contributors to be part of his/her life...

 

[Pen Is Mightier]

Details...

How do you plan on dealing with people looking down on you? What will you do if they come home crying saying someone made fun of them? I'm not trying to be a downer or a fighter but they are logical questions that we should all think about.

Yes I want children and Yes I will have them!

 

[Pen Is Mightier]

One of the main reasons I hate being gay...I've always wanted children but I would want both contributors to be part of his/her life...

Same here.

I want to have a son that I can teach to ride a bike, play sports, throw a ball, etc. This will probably never happen though. Good thing my little brother is a breeder.

 

[Bib-Lettuce]

I feel very fortunate that I don't want children, will make my life alot easier. Sometimes I fear that I will regret this decision, but it is a fleeting emotional whim that I should never act upon and it would be wrong to do so.

I'm almost 24 and I can barely take care of myself. But that's not really a gay issue at all, it would be the same if I were straight, just alot harder because I'd have to find a woman who didn't want kids either, being gay means no pressure because no one wants me to have children anyway.

And you're right about the abuse they would receive. Someone said if a straight/gay couple were looking to adopt and all factors were 100% equal she would favor the straight couple on the basis the child would n't be subjected to the torture of homophobia, this person received alot of criticisms but I couldn't help but agree on her logic.

I mean it's ugly and unfortunate to conform to social prejudice but I feel the rights of someones life transcend that issue. However using sexuality as anything other than the LAST deciding factor is wrong IMO. Straight parents are by no means perfect, I don't know of any that aren't extremely flawed. And saying gay couples should not adopt period is also wrong, children would be far better off with a home/family than without.

 

[Pen Is Mightier]

Yeah lots and lots and lots of straight parent families are SUPER fucked up. But most people are blind to those issues and only see you as being gay and therefore it would be awkward for the child growing up. This is a big thing that should not be brushed under the table when finding a child a home, but still.

If for example, SOMEHOW, I had a child with a girl by accident and we put it up for adoption...SOMEHOW...I would choose a straight family for it instead of a gay one. But that's also a flawed example because if I were to choose a gay one...wouldn't that just be my own family? It's a difficult situation, that's for sure.

 

[novo]

I know this is a touchy feely topic for a lot of people, but let's try to keep it respectful.

What do you guys/girls think of having a lesbian couple having a child and raising it(sperm donor/adoption)? Gay couple(surrogate/adoption)?

Do you WANT to have children? WILL you have children? (Yes those are two different questions, WANTS and ACTIONS are different).

Here is my idea.

First, I think it is "better" for a lesbian couple to raise a child than a gay couple. It seems easier for two women to raise a child properly than two guys and society I feel would look down on it less than a gay couple. I think two guys raising a child could do a fine job but I think they would receive too much crap in school for it.

I WANT to have a child but...I would want it to be my OWN, meaning I would want it to have half of my DNA and half of a surrogate's DNA. I would probably "accept" an adopted child but would prefer my own. Again this is what I WANT. I would not in reality have a child though because I would not want my son/daughter to have an overly stressful/sad life because of the pressure/picking on they would receive throughout their ENTIRE life starting in elementary school. They would be picked on or beat up by students and I'm sure teachers would do something that would make them feel awkward. Then as they get older they would have to deal with being a teenager in this awkward situation and then eventually live with it their entire life.

I'm not saying it's a horrible thing to do or anything...who knows maybe my ideas will change and I'll have a son or daughter but right now I don't think it is fair to the child to put them through that so that I can feel better by having a child.

Now it's your turn.

i feel the exact same way with the exception that a girl should be raised by a female (lesbian) household and a boy should be raised by a male (gay) household.

there are just some issues that a parent of the opposite sex just can't help with.

 

[Pen Is Mightier]

Yea it would have to be one of the guys child and not the others. Maybe inject both and see who gets lucky? That wouldn't really be fair though because whoever didn't "win" might feel bad. Probably best to decided beforehand. Having a mini-me would be awesome. Sigh.

 

[LA02MAX]

Yea it would have to be one of the guys child and not the others. Maybe inject both and see who gets lucky? That wouldn't really be fair though because whoever didn't "win" might feel bad. Probably best to decided beforehand. Having a mini-me would be awesome. Sigh.

LOL @ mini-me!!

 

[novo]

sigh, that's the problem with children i think.

people tend to have them for their own vanity.
then when they end up different from how they wanted them to be....

 

[RyRy]

Details...

How do you plan on dealing with people looking down on you? What will you do if they come home crying saying someone made fun of them? I'm not trying to be a downer or a fighter but they are logical questions that we should all think about.

I already have 5 children who call me Daddy, and one that doesn't talk yet since he's only 4 months old. Sure I'm not their real Dad but nobody cares. If someone made them cry at school (I'm already dealing with this) I just do whatever I can do to make them feel better and turn their day around. Plus my children will be home schooled.

 

[blaq19]

I want to have children as well and I will probably not have them until I'm almost 30 and settled. If everything goes as planned I won't find my soul mate for another three years. I will probably do in vitro cause I'd like to have twins and I already have a friend who is willing to do it.

I guess I have never really thought about the setbacks or what people would think and all of that I just thought about having kids. I mean adoption would be cool as well but the process is just so long and drawn out...

 

[Priest Tango]

id love to have kids...or a kid

 

[Bib-Lettuce]

people tend to have them for their own vanity.
then when they end up different from how they wanted them to be....

God yes, when I'm at my bleakest I could write essays about how evil having kids can be. So many selfish reasons. And what pisses me off is no one says anything, unless the parents are homeless meth addicts or something, everything thinks it's wonderful.

 

[CoCo]

First, I think it is "better" for a lesbian couple to raise a child than a gay couple.

Did you really mean to use 'better' there, meaning that you think lesbian parents are superior to gay male parents? Or would 'simpler' or 'easier' be a better word choice, as in less socially stigmatized & taboo?

This is not an attack; just trying to clarify...

 

[CoCo]

I think that I would like to have a child, or two. Not sure how that's gonna work out exactly, as yet. I do have access to three sets of ovaries, two of which I would really consider... I have no issue with adoption or fostering-turn-adoption.

I think that I would raise any child to be secure enough, strong enough, and so self-actualized that are equipped to handle any bullshit society throws at them because of me--and thrive. I think that I would be a very 'interesting' parent...

 

[philvia]

i want to have 1 or 2... but not until i'm like 30 and have no debt and an excellent job. as for the "gay parent bashing," nyc already has a lot of gay parents, and is very open to it, so i wouldn't expect too much coming out from it...especially in 12 years. By the time i'm ready for kids, there will probably be some kind of special fertilization or something, that allows both boy partners to contribute
i thought i remember reading about something like that, but i cant think of it.

 

[RyRy]

I've got this little idea in my head of perfection... 4,000 sq ft farm / plantation style house, 2-400 acres of land, horses, mules, cows, chickens, a nice sized creek running through it, a couple of lakes / ponds, and about 6 kids. Sad thing is is that I could have all of this right now if Brad and I could work things out, and if I could get over the issues I have with some things.

 

[RougeOgre]

If you really want kids for the "right reasons", I hope you figure out a way to have them. I never really wanted kids and as a str8t female, I got a lot of shit for it.
Some people are just idiots and make it their life's mission to make other people who are "different" from them miserable.

 

[geniks]

I do not want kids, I have no urge to ever have kids in my life. People ask me why, well I can't explain it.. I do not feel the need to look after kids, my dog is enough for me. I do not find babies cute either. I guess i'm weird.. huh? When I'm asked to hold a baby, my first thoughts are "I hope he doesn't shit his diaper" "I hope he doesn't drool on me" "he smells bad" "somebody please hold the baby any time now.. this is boring".. and so on.

 

[Pen Is Mightier]

Did you really mean to use 'better' there, meaning that you think lesbian parents are superior to gay male parents? Or would 'simpler' or 'easier' be a better word choice, as in less socially stigmatized & taboo?

This is not an attack; just trying to clarify...

I think it would be more typical to have two mothers than two fathers. I think every child growing up NEEDS a mother and the only way that would happen would be a lesbian couple. And yes it would be less socially taboo. There was a reason "better" was in quotes too...

 

[ExDelayed]

I will admit that I didnt read more than the first few lines as I am sleepy and wanting to go to bed.

I will have children. One possibly soon. A friend of mine wants to get pregnant for her and her wife, she has asked me. I am thinking about it and if she is ok to let me take the little tyke when I come home from Wyoming for days off, then it will be a go as soon as my insurance says ok. I have hinted to this and she, so far, is ok with it. However, legal documents will be drafted before any of my guys go swimming.

It will be interesting trying to explain the two mothers and possibly two fathers.

Still havent figured out how to get her pregnant. Dont know if I really want to go there.

 

[camarosrool]

pretty neutral

but the bf doesnt want any, so I guess that will be my choice as well since it doesnt matter much to me