Here's something I was thinking about today as I was browsing through the vag and reading numerous thread titles that allude to many negative and sad thoughts. This something is a profound, simple, and yet mind-blowing statement. "Why do you care?" When your girlfriend/boyfriend tells you "things are moving too fast", or "things are weird with us lately", or anything else of the sort, why do you care? Why does it bother you? I find it odd that this question cannot be answered. It can be, but it's a circular argument and concludes nothing. Therefore, it is an invalid answer. Again, the question cannot be answered. "I care because..... I do." "I care because.... it bothers me." "I care because.... it makes me feel <any way>." or my favorite... "I care because... she's a fucking bitch and she's hanging out with a guy right now...." ^^ That one's my favorite because the answer is a restatement of the question. (Why do you care that she's hanging out with a guy right now?) When it comes down to it, you are the one and only thing that is responsible for making yourself feel a certain way. This doesn't answer WHY you feel that certain way, but it does make you a little more aware of what's going on when you're having a freakout over a small bump in any type of relationship (whether it be sexual or nonsexual). I'm a very logical person, and since I found that I can't answer the question "Why do I care?", I have to then logically conclude that I actually do NOT care. Some might say that they care because they don't want to lose this person, or they don't want their thing to end, etc... but again, I would then analyze what's actually going on and have the realization that whatever it was that led me to having this anxious and unsettling feeling (maybe it was "things are going too fast") is actually miniscule and irrelevant and logically wouldn't effect the way things are anyways. Now, I'm not talking about things that can make or break a relationship, such as asking yourself why you would care if someone were to cheat on you. That is a different discussion. I'm talking about the things that people freak out about and let bother them that are so tiny in retrospect. You all know what I'm talking about... (she didn't call me!, she didn't answer my text, she's hanging out with a guy friend.... etc) So I ask you Vag, Why do you care? Why does it bother you? To conclude, again I say that you actually don't care and the reason you feel uneasy and bothered is because what's happening is you're having an illogical collision of thought. Think about this. You logically don't care while, at the same time, you are attempting to convince yourself that you do. This is all happening while you are experiencing a feeling of an uncertainty in an attempt to seek out an answer to a question that cannot be answered. ("why didn't she text", "why is she hanging out with a guy", "why did she tell me things are moving fast"). I believe that this "bothered" feeling is really coming from the inability to answer those types of questions. I think we confuse that feeling with the feeling of being bothered by something our SO is doing. It's completely logical and rational to feel uneasy about not being able to answer a question. However, you cannot answer a question about someone else's motive (what's going on in their head) unless you're a telepath and/or slip them some serious drugs so they tell you what you wanna hear. I feel that it's just a simple mind trap and that most people not only let, but MAKE themselves fall into it. Lately I have realized that there are 24 hours or 1,440 minutes in a day. If I get rejected in some way during that time period... well guess what? I have the next 70 years to do it all over again but instead succeed. I cannot understand why people make themselves be bothered (remember, you are the only thing that can make you feel anything) by things that are so miniscule in respect to how long you have on this earth. What do you guys think? Oh, and I want to add that I think our own egos contribute to our own downfall.