I'm the quiet type who doesn't really get out that much unless I need to eat or go to work. Lately, I had a 2 week vacation and that felt really good. I spent time with my family while getting away from the mundane job. All I can say is that I still get depressed when I think about the little things in life, but really do have an impact. Soon I'll be 20 and as of right now, I've nothing to show for it. I'm still twidling my thumbs and letting things pass by. To be honest, I'm nervous about that. All my life I've been in a bubble and my parents always stood up for me, in my opinion that was the number one mistake. It just added to my insecurities and shyness, if it wasn't for that I just may have developed my self-esteem later on. Instead of sulking, I would probably be out having fun and meeting people. And other things like how ugly I look, how depressed I make each room when I walk in or how shy I am infront of people, I'm sure thinking about all of this will make anyone feel depressed as well. Right now, I'm either at a crossroads between moving on in life; getting an education and striving to become a better man. Or I can just forget about everything, live a pathetic existance or end up in the gutter. It is just hard for me to take it all in and I sit back watching others have fun, people laughing and after all that I've typed up, even more life has passed me by again.