I just called a suicide hotline but I end up on a robot-machine. So I waited, hearing the options but they were too generic, like "general health care". Then the robot said "I don't understand, please repeat" after I did nothing, so I hung up. I feel I have no right to complain to anyone since I got no real problem. I live with my parent (no problem here, appart that we(I) don't really come foward to each other). and I just got out of University and landed the most secure job and it's was easy. Aside from that, I probably am secure financially for the rest of my life, at this point of my life. My job is 80 % boring and 20 % very interesting. I feel like I go from extremes, to utterly interresting and challenging to death boring. My life is now a 24 h circle : 7:45am - wake up, feel like shit because I didn't sleep enough and have to go to boring job for 8 hours. Take a shower, eat, go to work. At work, like I said, I am bored most of the time. I almost never speak to anyone, although I eat with them and they are friendly. It is just that I avoid and refuse almost every invitation to anything anyone gives me. Then after work, I go home, eat with my family, not really talking and just noding and saying "yes... yes indeed", basically generic responses to my mom talking. Then for the rest of the day until I go to sleep I either play video games(MMO usually), watch tv/ anime then go to sleep. That's the drill for the last 6 month (since graduation) Weekends is 16 hours waste of time then sleep 8. For anyone who care, yesterday I watched Welcome to the NHK episode 18 and 19 and I broke down in tears when I went to sleep. I feel like this life is futile and I don't have any plans for the future. Everything financially and my job is going very well. It would be seriously easier just to go to sleep then never wake up. Much less of a hassle. As I said, I have no friend and that is my fault. As I said, I reject everyone who invites me. Social gathering bores me and makes me anxious. As you can probably tell, I have a hard time expressing to words how I feel. I won't reread my post for syntax errors. English is not my first language, so sorry about that.