I really fucked up this relationship with this guy I was seeing several months ago. We weren't together, but we were dating, and I kissed 2 other guys (one at a party and one after a date), and I told him about it... He didn't want to date me afterward, and said if I really cared I wouldn't have done that... I know he was right, but we were long distance and at the time I felt so afraid that I would lose him so I guess I was just trying to protect my heart by trying to see other people (none of which really meant anything to me). I realize now how completely immature I was and how I merely insured that things would not work out by showing him the exact opposite of how I felt. The thing is I still care and it's been several months since that the whole incident happened. I have never felt so comfortable with anyone, and I just feel really sad that our relationship ended. I have tried to move on, and I haven't been seeing anyone exclusively since. He still talks to me every once in a while, and it just makes me really sad when I hear his voice because I wonder about what could have been. I know all of you are going to say just move on... but it's so hard to when all I think about is how perfect we could have been together and how I fucked that up. How do I forgive myself?