Such a simple question right? Yet I have no idea how to accomplish this magical feat of forgiving someone..anyone. I hold grudges, end friendships, let go of family...never forgive. My biological father was an abusive alcoholic that cared more about football and beer and his whores than being any sort of father figure and would beat the shit out of you if you got in his way of doing anything he wanted. My mom finally got the courage to leave him and get a divorce after 12 years of marriage... I was 6 when it happened. At the time, I just repressed all of the feelings I had about the whole situation and focused on my friends and most importantly, my mom. I started cleaning the house and doing all of the chores and trying to cook and get myself to school while my mom worked 2 jobs and went to school almost full-time to become a nurse and my older brother played video games and tried to beat the shit out of me like he had seen dear old dad do for so many years. Finally around the age of 15 I started having nightmares about my father and the situation I grew up in and started resenting my mom for staying in such a horrible situation and for being gone so much. I turned to my friends for any support I needed and was horrible to my mom. I've never forgiven my father. I haven't spoken with/seen/heard from since him since I was 9 or 10. I've never forgiven my brother. We are now grown adults and I still resent him. I've never forgiven my mother. We have a good relationship now, but I've never forgiven her. Part of me thinks that because I have never forgiven her, life is playing some cruel trick on me where I end up making all of the mistakes she did. I fear it's all a big circle and that my kids will one day grow up and resent me as well. I resent myself. I have not forgiven myself for all of the stupid choices/decisions/situations that I've managed to do or get myself into throughout life. I want to learn to forgive. Forgive my mother, father, brother, husband, previous friends...everyone, including me. Holding onto the anger and resentment and hatred is hurting/consuming me. I feel dead inside and like I will never be able to really love anyone. I've battled depression off and on since the age of 15 when I started having the nightmares. I'm tired, and I think I'm finally ready to let go of it all and move on. I just don't know how.