LOVE How foolish is it to move to Houston with my GF temporarily?

black jesus

OT Supporter
Apr 30, 2002
105,929
Denton, TX
I've been dating a great girl for about 18-months, a super-great girl. I don't want to lose her, she and I are incredibly happy together.

She's starting her 4-year PhD at Rice in August.
I have a great paying job working for FEMA and for the sake of this thread I'll tell you I make $77k/year there.

Reasons to go:
  • I love my GF, a lot
  • My current job is a bitch in some regards and requires me to do things I fundamentally agree with in regards to funding corruption with tax money; I feel ethical and legal vulnerability because of this
  • She doesn't have a lot of cash and will probably have to live in a "marginal neighborhood" if I don't go and contribute my fair share to rent

Reasons not to go:
  • I'm afraid of the private section and those meetings we had twice per week where the bosses decided who to lay off for performance, 25% of the staff were laid off monthly. If I had a bad week or even a bad day, I was fired. I don't want to go back to that. I think back to those days where we had to kill or be killed in regards to sales and strategy. Typically, the guy who stole the most clients was the guy who kept his job.
  • I don't have a lot of skill because I have a BS in Emergency Management and Community Planning which means at best I could score a job as a shitty account manager or sales and I'll probably get eaten alive
  • I won't make as much money and I'll have to moth-ball my track car for about 4-years
  • I LOVE racing, it's been my dream to do it since I was a kid and I'm not sure that I can "turn it off" for a year if not 4-years
  • We could split up (I doubt it)
  • Might never find a job that lets me live comfortable in regards to cash or pressure
 

ForgottenSpiral

Hope and Irony
OT Supporter
Feb 2, 2004
23,336
NoVA
I lived in Houston for 9 years (within walking distance of Rice for most that time) and it is ridiculously cheap to live there. Even if you take a significant pay cut, you can live comfortably there.

Personally, I'd move for a relationship - especially if it is as good as you describe it to be. Unless you love your current job more than you love your gf, I don't even see how this would be a hard decision. I do understand the need to get other people's perspective while thinking it over though since it is such a big change.

So I say go for it. Houston isn't heaven by any stretch of the imagination, but it is cheap to live well and there are some damn good people there too. As long as you don't mind ugly cities or heat and humidity, you'll be fine.
 
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black jesus

black jesus

OT Supporter
Apr 30, 2002
105,929
Denton, TX
But seriously, worldly possessions or emotions. Which do you prefer?
Racing the car is not a worldly possession...it's something I can't describe in text. It's an affliction and I don't know that I can turn it off. If you've never done it, you don't understand. It's more than a hobby...but still just a hobby that necessity will over-take.
Now my $600/month student loan payment, that's a real liability.
I lived in Houston for 9 years (within walking distance of Rice for most that time) and it is ridiculously cheap to live there. Even if you take a significant pay cut, you can live comfortably there.

Personally, I'd move for a relationship - especially if it is as good as you describe it to be. Unless you love your current job more than you love your gf, I don't even see how this would be a hard decision. I do understand the need to get other people's perspective while thinking it over though since it is such a big change.

So I say go for it. Houston isn't heaven by any stretch of the imagination, but it is cheap to live well and there are some damn good people there too. As long as you don't mind ugly cities or heat and humidity, you'll be fine.
Eventually she'll finish the PhD and we'll go somewhere else and I'll follow her around. I've never had a GF this long or one that's been this easy to keep a relationship with. There are very few negatives with this girl...there's no clubbing, no XBF's, she doesn't want money, pays for her stuff, no temper tantrums, we like the same entertainment stuffs, same disgusting humor...but her driving is pretty bad.

I lived in Houston for a few months and as long as I can get out early for a hurricane evacuation I'll be OK.
 

iwishyouwerebeer

you shut your cunt
Sep 1, 2006
31,941
That's a given. I won't move down there without work.
Stability is the first thing I care about. So pending a new job in that location I don't see why not. Though that also doesn't mean you have to move there with her when she goes and assume you'll get a job soon after; I'd still stay put even if it meant her being there a few months alone.
 
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black jesus

black jesus

OT Supporter
Apr 30, 2002
105,929
Denton, TX
Stability is the first thing I care about. So pending a new job in that location I don't see why not. Though that also doesn't mean you have to move there with her when she goes and assume you'll get a job soon after; I'd still stay put even if it meant her being there a few months alone.
This is the plan.
 

GammaRadiation

Well-Known Member
Feb 15, 2007
29,256
Random Location.FL
Racing the car is not a worldly possession...it's something I can't describe in text. It's an affliction and I don't know that I can turn it off. If you've never done it, you don't understand. It's more than a hobby...but still just a hobby that necessity will over-take.
Now my $600/month student loan payment, that's a real liability.

Yes I've raced. Ran my first street race at 14 (F&F era, stupid us :rofl:). Had a racing kart before that. Parents put me in a pick up at 16 to save my life in their eyes :rofl: Nothing can describe the feeling of cranking into a kicker and flying like super man 20' off the water, either, but I think I could stand to move out of Florida temporarily for a girl. Permanently? Yeah there's nowhere else in the nation I want to live.

Really, I cant even take this post seriously. Temporary break from racing or break up with a girl I can see myself with for the rest of my life. :ugh2: Racing should be the least of your worries if you're going to be rational at all. It's a hobby. HOBBY.

Adrenaline is a pretty awesome endorphin but oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin are waaaayyyyy mo better. Besides, there are 101 other adrenaline fixes. Pick up base jumping. I imagine that makes racing anything but an F1 car seem relaxing.
 
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antihero

OT Supporter
Aug 19, 2002
15,294
NYC
Speaking from experience most people leaving gov for private sector expect more money. You are being all low self esteem about your job prospects. When I left my government job it was for a 27k raise
 
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black jesus

black jesus

OT Supporter
Apr 30, 2002
105,929
Denton, TX
Really, I cant even take this post seriously. Temporary break from racing or break up with a girl I can see myself with for the rest of my life. :ugh2: Racing should be the least of your worries if you're going to be rational at all. It's a hobby. HOBBY.
It may not be a temporary break. I may never have the funds to do this again.
 
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black jesus

black jesus

OT Supporter
Apr 30, 2002
105,929
Denton, TX
Speaking from experience most people leaving gov for private sector expect more money. You are being all low self esteem about your job prospects. When I left my government job it was for a 27k raise

Thanks, but I have a bullshit degree and bullshit skills. No one is going to pay me more than $35k for my resume.
 

GammaRadiation

Well-Known Member
Feb 15, 2007
29,256
Random Location.FL
It may not be a temporary break. I may never have the funds to do this again.
Thanks, but I have a bullshit degree and bullshit skills. No one is going to pay me more than $35k for my resume.

Why dont you take your bullshit degree and see if you can go to grad school for a masters part time while your chick gets her PhD and then you will have a marketable resume which will guarantee fundage.

Oh and you'll only get paid what you think you're worth so, I guess you're right.
 
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black jesus

black jesus

OT Supporter
Apr 30, 2002
105,929
Denton, TX
Why dont you take your bullshit degree and see if you can go to grad school for a masters part time while your chick gets her PhD and then you will have a marketable resume which will guarantee fundage.

Oh and you'll only get paid what you think you're worth so, I guess you're right.

I severely struggled through math courses so it's going to be a challenge to get in grad school anywhere...and I still have the BS degree debt to deal with.
 
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black jesus

black jesus

OT Supporter
Apr 30, 2002
105,929
Denton, TX
And hilarious that FEMA employees that think they are worth 35k are getting paid more than double that. Go america :bowdown:

I'm highly specialized in what I do and manage $730m in accounts, a staff of 12, and deal with politicians. The problem is that grant management doesn't really cross over to the private sector. I doubt my 8-years of experience in this field will amount to much of anything.
 
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antihero

OT Supporter
Aug 19, 2002
15,294
NYC
Thanks, but I have a bullshit degree and bullshit skills. No one is going to pay me more than $35k for my resume.

dude, you salary history means more than your degree at this point. There are plenty of bs corporate jobs too. You need to man up and take what you want here cause no one is going to give you more than you think you deserve
 

IslanderOffRoad

Do you even lift kit?
Dec 23, 2003
82,163
Houston, Tx
Houston to Dallas isn't that far. You could still see her every damn weekend (either driving or flying) on what you make assuming you're not living beyond your means as it is. You could also potentially throw her money for a nicer place if you're that concerned.

And when I got my MBA you'd be surprised the kind of bullshit degrees people had. All depends on the school.
 

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