Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Bob Loblaw, Sep 20, 2009.
Being alone is the worst feeling ever. People that have friends or a so can never comprehend. They think they know how it feels, but in reality they really have no clue. Then you have the people that will mock you because you have no friends.
At this point I really have no friends and I'll admit being alone is like the worst feeling ever. Why don't I try to go out and meet friends? Well I do and it seems like nobody wants interact with me. I know I probably sound like a whiner, but I don't know how else to express this.
i realized this tonight when i went out with a kid from work. he moved here from russia and has 0 friends. he told me how much it sucked and how depressed he gets after visiting his hometown and having to come back to the states. shit sucks.
i'm going to make it a point to invite him to every gathering/party/event that i know of from now on.
I have been there and it really really really sucks, I can't even begin to explain how much. It's very nice of you to do that for that guy
You are a good human being.
Well your good friend. Can I come too? j/k. When I sorta had friends, it was always me asking them "oh what you doing tonite, where you going, etc." I'm the one that purposely invites myself. They never really call unless I call them. Obviously I stop calling and I never saw some of them ever again.
At this point I really do not know what to do. I've seen several advice offer in another thread, but yet I have still to use it.
hey gook, just listen
So wait....others have provided a lot of suggestions but you simply won't take their advice and instead would rather post about how awful it is?
Ever hear of a victim? Because you are demonstrating that behavior. Want a different life? Choose a different life.
i found a flaw in my post already,
the thousand other things you can love wont love you back
Being alone is different from being lonely.
Being lonely sucks sometimes. Like when you want to go try do new things but realize, there's no one you know you could call up and tag along for the experience. Either you go by yourself or not at all.
Basically the advice that I was offered was go do things by yourself. I haven't done it yet because I'm more than afraid of going by myself.
In my case this sucks all time because I really don't have any friends any more.
I'm alone 99% of the time in my life. I do ok though, I have a lot going on in my head to keep me entertained.
All that shit in my head gives me a headache.
I'm lonely as hell. Every time I try to meet people they seem rather disinterested in knowing me....aka they NEVER make the initial effort to hang out with me. Now the tricky part here is that you can't show them that your desperate so in order to do that I make one or two attempts to befriend them and then I stop. They don't return the gesture so it ends right there. I guess some people (like myself) aren't the type that anyone wants to be friends with. Hence some of us are kinda destined to be lonely unless we REALLY search for people who want to be friends with us.
It takes a lot of effort to make friends. Friendships naturally develop out of the same stuff of romantic relationships, common interest, respect, genial and pleasant attitudes and listening as well as sharing gradual pieces of yourself in the context of whatever common interest or subject you're discussing or taking part.
One of the big "No, No" issues when meeting new potential friends is placing too much about yourself on their plate. They don't want to hear about all your problems with family, yourself, or your current or prior friendships/relationships. They want a relatively light, pleasant interaction that gradually introduces them. Socially acceptable behavior is expected. Don't walk right up to them within 6 inches of their face and start gabbing away. Don't talk at them or above them, and especially, be optimistic and interested in whatever subject you're discussing. If you're not, change the subject when they're done. Ask them if they enjoy a sport, or their job, or if they're married?
These interactions happen everywhere that you have common interests.
friend of mine gave this to me in a txt a couple months ago just out of the blue not sure why though. probably to get me off of her is how i took it but any time i did spend with her she asked me to come with so I got really confused by it.
were not friends anymore though ended pretty badly just recently not sure whos fault it really is but the parting is bitter I didnt want it to end. now im having a hard time moving on.
I dont think its hard to make friends but I find it hard to keep friends because I pass so much judgement towards people because of all the shady things that happened in my past. So I have no doubt I come off as "uninteresting" Ive seen how people have done me wrong and it doesnt take long for my suspicion level to go up when I see something out of the ordinary. eventually it overwhelms me and I let it ruin the friendship rather than confronting it and usually when I do it doesn't help anyway so its no win/win
So in the end I am alone most of the time.
I have been alone for almost 4 months now. I have taken trips back home and my GF came out for 3 weeks, but I have no friends outside of work... and I dont seem to really get along with the people at work.
GF moved away, have no friends except my schoolbooks but they don't seem to get along with me anymore either.
Its hard to go out and meet people without them thinking there is some underlying reason. I tried to become friends with a guy I kind of knew from a class. He ended up thinking I was gay and was hitting on him.
Me and my girlfriend of six years recently split up... It wasn't messy, she got a job out of town, I have a good job here, we decided that after six years we weren't married and we didn't have any real plans for the future so we just split and she moved for her new job and I stayed where I am for mine.
Point is I am alone for the first time in my life now. It has been about a month and I can't believe how hard it is getting already. I haven't lived here for long, I moved here for my job about 2 years ago, in that time, since I had her, I hadn't been that concerned with making friends. I have always had friends, in high school and college I always had a close knit group of 5-10 good friends, but all of my friends from high school or college are long gone, spread over the entire planet, and now I am so busy with work I don't know how to make new friends. I work in a small office with only 7 other people, most are 20+ years older than me, so making friends through work is out of the question (not that you can't be friends with a 50+ year old... but c'mon).
This weekend I actually drove half the distance between where I live and where my ex now lives and met her there and spent like 6 hours with her, it was amazing how much I missed her and how much I wanted to tell her to come back, but it's long past that.
I am considering joining some hobby clubs or something, even though I always looked down on that crap it always seems like a bunch of losers... but I guess that's where I am lol. It's strange, you take school for granted, where else to make friends but school or work really? I am not going to out to bars or clubs by myself, even if I did most people are already there in groups of long established friendships and trying to break into one seems like a ridiculous proposition.
I figure I'll just float, do whatever I gotta do, live my life, and whatever comes up comes up.
I can completely relate to everything that is being said here..