How to let the gf know I want to slow down our relationship?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by MCohen, Nov 7, 2008.

  1. MCohen

    MCohen #GoSolar OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 30, 2004
    Messages:
    41,630
    Likes Received:
    1,417
    Location:
    Washington, DC
    I don't mean slow down as in take a break, but more in the sense of lets just be bf and gf, and not worry about buying a house, getting married, our mutual finances etc. She's been really pushing for those lately, and I'm not ready for any of that, but I don't want to tell her so it comes off as an ultimatum and I want her to know those are things are do want from her in the future, but just not now.

    A good example of her being pushy about this is: I want to buy a new car, and she said threatened to leave if I do because it'll hinder our ability to buy a new house in the near future.
     
  2. MCohen

    MCohen #GoSolar OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 30, 2004
    Messages:
    41,630
    Likes Received:
    1,417
    Location:
    Washington, DC
    I know I have to do that. I'm asking whats the best way to approach her without making her feel like she's overbearing or smothering me.
     
  3. Viper

    Viper BOOM! Shut him right down. OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2004
    Messages:
    68,674
    Likes Received:
    1,325
    Location:
    In a van down by the river
    "Hey, honey, can we talk? Yeah, you should sit down. Anyway, I recognize that this is only going to get worse if we get married, so I am going to go ahead and end things now before this nagging literally drains all the life out of me and you suffocate me with your controlling tendencies. Thanks for all the good times we had together. I'll never forget you. It's not me, it's you. Peace."
     
  4. MCohen

    MCohen #GoSolar OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 30, 2004
    Messages:
    41,630
    Likes Received:
    1,417
    Location:
    Washington, DC
    She's not, but she could possibly take it that way.
     
  5. MCohen

    MCohen #GoSolar OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 30, 2004
    Messages:
    41,630
    Likes Received:
    1,417
    Location:
    Washington, DC
    I don't want to break up with her :hsugh:
     
  6. Viper

    Viper BOOM! Shut him right down. OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2004
    Messages:
    68,674
    Likes Received:
    1,325
    Location:
    In a van down by the river
    Yeah, she is:

    She's "threatening" you instead of sitting down and talking to you about it.

    You don't need to slow this relationship down, you need to frikin end it. I'm very skeptical about her actually changing these control-like tendencies, which is why I am saying that it's probably better to end it.

    But if you don't want to jump into that deep of water right away,then just sit her down and be upfront like you are here. It'll probably cause a huge fight/arguement, may lead to making up and trying to change, and likely will end anyway, but it's worth a shot.
     
  7. Viper

    Viper BOOM! Shut him right down. OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2004
    Messages:
    68,674
    Likes Received:
    1,325
    Location:
    In a van down by the river
    I don't want to go to the gym and friking jog on a treadmill for an hour either, but I know it's the best thing for me.
     
  8. MCohen

    MCohen #GoSolar OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 30, 2004
    Messages:
    41,630
    Likes Received:
    1,417
    Location:
    Washington, DC
    This is going as bad as my last thread in here. :ugh:
     
  9. MCohen

    MCohen #GoSolar OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 30, 2004
    Messages:
    41,630
    Likes Received:
    1,417
    Location:
    Washington, DC
    I want to be with her, I don't know why thats so hard for you understand, bro.
     
  10. MCohen

    MCohen #GoSolar OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 30, 2004
    Messages:
    41,630
    Likes Received:
    1,417
    Location:
    Washington, DC
    She can takes thing the wrong way and run with it. I don't want to start a huge fight over this.
     
  11. bowrofl

    bowrofl New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2005
    Messages:
    6,555
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto, Canadia
    The solution I see in every Vag thread now, in regards to any relationship, is "dump him/her"
     
  12. Viper

    Viper BOOM! Shut him right down. OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2004
    Messages:
    68,674
    Likes Received:
    1,325
    Location:
    In a van down by the river
    But you are not happy with the way she is smothering you...i.e. you are not happy with HER.

    Your solutions:

    1. Talk to her and tell her what you are saying here and see how she reacts.

    2. End it.

    I'm suggesting 2, merely because people don't tend to change controlling, smothering tendencies and it will just save you a lot of time in the long run.

    But I am not opposed and encourage you to do number 1 if you must see this play out for yourself.
     
  13. Viper

    Viper BOOM! Shut him right down. OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2004
    Messages:
    68,674
    Likes Received:
    1,325
    Location:
    In a van down by the river
    I agree.
     
  14. MCohen

    MCohen #GoSolar OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 30, 2004
    Messages:
    41,630
    Likes Received:
    1,417
    Location:
    Washington, DC
    Its starting to look like that.
     
  15. Viper

    Viper BOOM! Shut him right down. OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2004
    Messages:
    68,674
    Likes Received:
    1,325
    Location:
    In a van down by the river
    Jesus Christ, I just looked in your thread history and now I remember who you are. :uh: :ugh:
     
  16. Viper

    Viper BOOM! Shut him right down. OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2004
    Messages:
    68,674
    Likes Received:
    1,325
    Location:
    In a van down by the river
    For those who don't have subs, I can't link to the thread he posted before cause I am on a proxy and the link is jarbled, but the title of the thread (which was 10 pages long):

    I constantly cheat on my girlfriend

    Turns out my "end it" advice is spot on in this case. And there is another side to this story and the girl here might not be as controlling as I thought.
     
  17. MCohen

    MCohen #GoSolar OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 30, 2004
    Messages:
    41,630
    Likes Received:
    1,417
    Location:
    Washington, DC
    :rofl:

    What the fuck does that have to do with anything?
     
  18. Viper

    Viper BOOM! Shut him right down. OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2004
    Messages:
    68,674
    Likes Received:
    1,325
    Location:
    In a van down by the river
    Is it the same girl? :mamoru:
     
  19. MCohen

    MCohen #GoSolar OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 30, 2004
    Messages:
    41,630
    Likes Received:
    1,417
    Location:
    Washington, DC
    The same gf, yes. I don't see what that has to do with this though.
     
  20. Viper

    Viper BOOM! Shut him right down. OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2004
    Messages:
    68,674
    Likes Received:
    1,325
    Location:
    In a van down by the river
    And let's not rule out the fact that you were thick-headed and didn't actually listen to any of the advice we gave you then, why should we waste our time giving you advice now?

    You're just doing the same shit in this thread.

    My guess?

    You are most likely just trolling.

    But if not, and you are serious, then you are one dense motherfuck.
     
  21. MCohen

    MCohen #GoSolar OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 30, 2004
    Messages:
    41,630
    Likes Received:
    1,417
    Location:
    Washington, DC
    This is what I was looking for. Thanks :bigthumb:
     
  22. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,570
    Likes Received:
    5
    Uhhh, here's a start. Talk to her and tell her how you feel.

    I know this is the same chick you've been with for 2 years that you've been cheating on constantly and don't want to break up with her....so if you aren't going to tell her about your infidelity at least be honest with her when you tell her marriage and house buying is not where you want your relationship to go.
     
  23. Savage5point0

    Savage5point0 Im an asshole.

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2001
    Messages:
    18,397
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    The Bay, California
    Just disappear for a couple of days, or a weekend. If she thinks you guys are getting really serious it will shake her up a bit and have her wondering if things are really a consistent as she thinks.
     
  24. lauren

    lauren Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2005
    Messages:
    38,877
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Palo Alto, CA

    well....im sure this didnt just come up. have you been going "uh hu, sure whatever" and nodding your head when she's mentioned it before?


    first step is to stop, and make your intentions clear.....
     
  25. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2005
    Messages:
    110,618
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Maryland
    "i think we are going about this relationship way too fast. I love you and you love me, and that's all that matters; let's take it slow and not worry so much about the car, the house, an engagement right now. Let's just be together. The marriage, the home, the ring, that stuff will come, but why does it have to be so soon?"

    hear her side.....

    "I understand, but waiting a while longer wouldn't hurt us either. We could save more if wait a bit and wait til the economy thing blows over. Cause you know Obama is gonna hook us up babe. I love you so much" *kiss and hug, then sex*


    thank me by inviting me to the wedding :wavey:
     

Share This Page