Here's my story: Random story: VERY LONG, but any comments would be appreciated. When I was 17, there was this 26 year old guy, who was "soliciting" on the phone. Basically, he would call my work and randomly offer his "services" to various people. When I started working there they all warned me about him. You know, saying he was a freak and all. The more they warned me, the more curious, and intrigued I became. So then he calls, we talk, and then he comes in and introduces himself. The guy was HOT.I asked if he had a gf, he said no. (Later I found out this wasn't true) We spent the first few months meeting in random hotels, and engaging in all kinds of sex. Before it was over, we were into some VERY hardcore activites (BDSM & fetishes among other things). I was very nervous at first because until then I had only had one sexual experience. By this point we realized that the relationship was becoming much much more than a casual fuck buddy relationship. The relationship became exclusive, and a year later he proposed. I said no, for reasons he was already aware of. It wasn't a rejection, so much as it was "not at this time". Over the next 8 1/2 years, he asked me to marry him 3 more times, and sexually we had tried just about everything either of us could imagine. The great thing was, we were comfortable enough to talk openly about pretty much everything, or so I thought. After 6 years we bought a house together, and within a year, I realized he was still making the "solicitation" calls (the same calls that brought us together). Ok, it didn't really bother me, as long as he wasn't having sex with anyone else. And as long as he was willing to share that with me, at least to some extent. I didnt necessarily need details, but I didn't want to call home one night and accidentally hear one of those conversations, which is exactly what happened. We talked about it, he promised not to hide things from me. I just wanted to know what was going on. I wanted him to talk to me about what he wanted/needed, and to be given the chance to take care of it for him. Its not like I would have criticized him, or made him feel bad. There were a few things over the years that I wasn't comfortable with, at least initially. It wasn't a final NO, it was more, "I'm just not there yet. GIve me a chance to think it through in my head, and then lets revisit the idea." As a 17-18 year old, its pretty overwhelming for a guy that I was deeply in love with, to ask me to hurt him alot. I always say, "I'll try anything once, and sometimes twice.". Just because your first experience with something isn't a complete success, doesnt mean that it cant be better. For example, the first time I let him fuck me in the ass, I was in extreme pain, it was an all around bad experience. However, when we tried it again, it got better. By the third time, it was one of my most memorable and pleasurable experiences. And thats still true today, 12 years later. I'm very thankful for the experiences that came out of that relationship. Although most people would have looked down upon it, and yes it was a huge risk for me to take, in the end it was worth the risk. By the time that relationship ended, I had lost nearly all of my inhibitions. After giving birth to my daughter over 3 years ago, I lost a few more. Now, I feel I've lost as many inhibitions as possible. Of course there are some things that are still off limits, but not because I am inhibited, because I have moral objections to doing certain things. Now comes the hard part, finding a new partner who is just as open and willing, and who can share that emotional/physical bond that will allow me to continue to be free of those inhibitions.