I am a retard when it comes to these things...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Man Bear Pig, Aug 31, 2007.

  1. Man Bear Pig

    Man Bear Pig Banned

    Nov 24, 2006
    Likes Received:
    imagination land
    these things being called relationships. I have no idea how dating works, or romantic relationships. I have "had" relationships and been dating off and on, but I really do not understand the dynamics involved. Everyone thinks I am genuine, sweet, nice guy, but, about a week later they lose interest because I come on pretty strong, even though it is not my intention.
    Combine this with an anxiety disorder centered around interpersonal relationships, let's just say everything gets fucked real fast. I usually try and avoid it all together, dating relationships whatever, but I am a human, so I have that innate desire. Honestly, I don't really know what I am asking of you guys, but yeah. Fuck it.

    Oh I know what the problem is, it is my fucking anxiety disorder. Honestly, everything in life does not bother, school, work, random life crap, money, but if you want to induce a panic attack in me, just leave me hanging in a vulnerable place in the initial stages of getting to know someone. I am medicated and all that shit, and nothing bothers me, except for this crap.

    Combined with my sketched family past, I can't really answer normal questions a person asks about a family;
    "What does your father mother do?"
    "Oh, she is a suicidal drunk, whom I have threatened with a restraining order, so she will stay out of my life. Pops is a certified crazy, and is probably going to prison here soon, oh and I don't speak to his crazy ass either."

    My family history turns people off in a pretty big way, and I don't really advertise it, along with a lot of my own past issues I have had to deal with. People ask questions and I tell them bluntly and as politely as I can if they are curious, but the red flags start flying up everywhere.

    If I can develop some resemblance of a relationship, it is often with some one who has more problems than I do, or is still in the process of recovery. I am yet to have a girlfriend who is even mildly mentally stable and those whom I do pursue, are not on the same page of interest as me. I like to say I am very exceptional, "you know you are a wonderful person, except...." Most of my pseudo relationships last 1-2 months at most, with my longest relationship ever being 3 months long.

    A lot of times I feel the deck is staked so I make no attempts to even date. I have tried using the dating websites and it seems it is the only way I meet people which is ridiculous considering I attend a school with 20K+ people, I just don't identify with people.

    I wonder sometimes I have some kind of personality disorder, because I only view people as their usefulness to me. Not using them, but what kind of friend could they potentially be, or if I am attracted to them all. I have no female friends, simply to avoid any kind of potential inappropriate attachment I may develop to them. That and I don't really actively seek the company of other people anymore, or well for the past 5 months or so. I don't feel depressed, most of the time I am fairly content with life, but once a girl or woman is introduced, it seems everything begins the path of shit and my mood follows. Ug.
  2. ware_ru

    ware_ru I know, I know, I'm amazing

    Jun 17, 2004
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    read the sticky

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