I'm taking my daughter leaving her father, tranferring colleges and moving across the country. I've been living in hell all my life and thought a man and a baby would make it better. It hasn't, now I live in more hell and this is insanity. My daughter doesn't deserve growing up this way with us always fighting. I'm so so scared but I don't know what else to do. It has come to the point we are physically abusing one another. I can't go to my parents because they are the reason I was unhappy to begin with. Years of inflicting me with fear, they fought infront of me all the time, it was hell in there too. I want to break the cycle already. All I want to do now is cry though, I just feel life owes me so much. A lot. I am so sick of always crying and imagining how much better my life could have been and it isn't. I tried so hard too. I tried pretending my parents didn't hurt me all of my life. I have deep social anxiety and I tried going out, working being social and I just feel like my head is going to blow up if I need to talk to one more person. Every single time I do I shake. It's a horrible thing. I tried working things out with her father, I tried doing well in my college, I'm trying to work but all this pressure is blowing up in my face. It was my dream to go to California and I've been denying it for years b/c my parents did not want me to move so far away and all this time I've felt so unhappy in this stupid college in VT but I can't. I'm so scared of my parent's reactions, I know you all think I'm grown up and such but they really know how to make me feel guilty. What other people see as normal things such as going to college in another state they see it as being a rebel. I'm so scared. I'm going to start taking drugs for my SA as well, anothe worry I have is how I'm going to live and support my daughter. With what money? I'm dirt poor, I'll work as much as I can but how will that be enough????