So here’s the deal. I met someone I cared deeply for. We dated for awhile. She got scared and we split, but we were still friends, cause I'm just a nice guy, and wanted what was best for her... she's a senior in HS, and has lots of goals and ambitions. She is commitment shy and has told me and other people anything she does with a guy before college means nothing to her. Meaning, she isn't interested in dating and is afraid of falling for someone and messing things up. Which I understood, agreed upon, and told her I'd wait for her, and we both agreed that was best - and we could probably see each other in college in the fall if everything goes well. Well, apparently, she just couldn't handle the waiting. She wanted to see me again. She wanted to be with me. We had amazing times, the best of times. Then, she backed off again. She ran, again. It hurt. But I was okay. As a friend, I told her I understood - and that all was okay. Well, it happened again - a few weeks later, she asked if I wanted to go see A Nightmare Before Christmas in Lexington at midnight with her, as a date. I was excited, but I told her this does not have to mean anything, and we can just go as friends - she didn't want that, she told me how much she thinks of me, how much she cares for me, and how much she likes me, and that she could trust me (meaning, I would never screw any of her future plans or goals up). That lasted a week. Our last date was Thursday. We watched King Kong. It seemed like a very fine night. She was happy when I dropped her off at her house (a 35 minute drive from my place). That night, I called her when I got home to let her know I was safe (she asked me to). She acted as if she didn't want to speak to me. I asked if anything was wrong or if I did something to upset her. She told me to just leave her alone. I was very confused and told her good night and that I'll talk to her the next day before I leave for my parents house. She said "bye". I emailed her Friday when a joyful, silly note, and letting her know I’d call when I got to my parents [a 2 hr drive]. I left early, figuring she would still be asleep. But I was wrong. She emailed me right back, saying “I'm sure you will be perfect for someone else. Yet again, I don't think this can go on any longer. It's for sure this time though, so just forget me. Nothing you can say or do can change my mind, so don't waste energy. Thanks for all the things you took me to do” I read it before I left. Made for a wonderful Christmas weekend. Right? Right. Well, I emailed her Sunday when I got home. Basically saying all is okay, again - and some other things.. And .. “If you don't feel anything with me, then that is absolutely fine. Great. Awesome. We no longer need to waste each others time. I knew I wasn't good enough for you from the beginning, but I held on, heh - cause I did feel something, and I did like the attention and the thought of knowing SOMEONE cared what was on my mind or how I felt at any random moment. Or, acted like it. Thank you.” Today, Tuesday … this conversation took place: Me: Hey. Having fun ignoring me? Her: Um, I don't really think about you at all...so it's not ignoring. Me: Good. But I did email you, that's what I was referring to. Hmm, are you mad at me for a reason? Do you not want to even talk to me? Like.. I don't know. I feel like I may have made you upset? Her: No, I'm not mad. No I don't want to talk to you. Besides talking to me now, you phase me none at all. Me: Why are you being so cold to me? That's great... no feelings. Wonderful. Awesome. You're over "nothing". But, still .. you don't even want to talk to me? Why? I liked talking to you about STUFF. Life. Other things. I am getting the vibe that you hate me, or ... am extremely annoyed with me. I'm just confused. I am and will not ever try for you again, because I know it's really not what you feel, or want at all now. I am cool with that. I am okay. But, you were the best person to talk to. Her: Don't flatter yourself, I don't care enough to hate you. You aren't that great of a conversationalist, and I don't see the point in talking to you. I know, I should horribly lame, and weak, and many other things. I am not very confident in myself, and she pretty much confirmed why with that last statement. I don't want pity, and I know - once I get into college in the spring or fall, things will get better, I'll meet other people ... but, I always think to myself, it'll all be the same, and end the same. I guess you just have to know me. I don't know why I am posting this. Who ever does? I know what I have to do, and I know what I should do. I am just letting this out, and well.. sharing my horrible experience. Enjoy. Hugs would be nice.