I have a massive headache right now so bear with me.. I grew up in a very non-traditional household. Meaning, I grew up with my mother (alcholic, schizophrenic) uncle (drug addict, schizophrenic), grandmother (manic depressive) and an older brother with social anxiety disorder. Out of everyone in the house, I am considered the "normal" one for whatever that means. I am a college student still at 27 . <-- I took time off after high school to care for my family. In return they agreed to pay for my college education so I did not have to work (but took care of them). Try explaining that to future employers! Right now I work as a Manager but this is a seasonal position from March to October. I make fairly good money here. I am also finishing up college but am struggling financially do to so especially since I haven't worked in 2months. I've been applying for jobs but nothing solid has come through yet. I finished up an internship last semester as a Teacher which I did exceptionally well in. I am told by the college to apply for similar jobs in the field b/c I now have experience but am afraid to do so b/c most of these jobs require a degree. I think this is where my low self-esteem is. I am a good student, on the Dean's Honor Roll ... I should be confident but I'm not. Case and point: I am struggling to get by but am trying my hardest to find work. I send out at least 2-3 resumes per day. I am depressed b/c I don't have any money to spend on my family for the holidays. I feel like I have no control over my life. Why even try? I have no hope for the future. I'm scared because I haven't felt this badly about my life in a while. I'm terrified things will get worst. I can't cope with things now.. what will happen?