sorry i didn't post my writing from the previous trip just been way to busy to type out all 15 pages and im sure no one wants to read it any ways. Here is my current state, most of all my grandfather is dying of cancer and it hit me really hard the other day. I broke down and just bawled for hour or so, hard dealing with it. Not why im posting here though, ive lost others before and its life, the problem is the girl I wrote about the other time told me she just wanted to be friends and thats it. I don't know what the fuck happened. One day she wants to be around me all the time and so forth and likes me as I like her. now nothing we barely talk. Now here is where my mind drives me crazy, I told my self I need to forget about her and let her go and don't think twice about it there are plenty of girls that are out there. I cant stop thinking of her she is constantly on my mind and I don't know what to think. I know she knows how I feel and doesn't even think twice about it. I occupy my time with hobbies, friends, other misc. activities but something always reminds me of her in some shape or form, and it throws the rest of my day off. I know I should just top thinking about her and go on with life and what not. Everyday there is always something that gets me thinking about her and why I like her so much. I honestly don't know if this is an infatuation or im falling in love with the her i don't know. We were great friends for a while, then escalated from there. (YES WE DID HAVE SEX, for that say grow some balls) I don't fucken know how to get her off my mind. I honestly wish I never met the girl I would have been happier with out her in my life. All my friends know something is wrong and so does my family. I just tell them its my grandfather, even though it is there but the main portion is her. She is fucken driving me insane. So tell me what to do I know she isn't worth my time and what not, yet I cant do anything because I wont talk to her for a day or two and something will get me thinking and I call her or text whatever and try and talk to her, its like pulling teeth trying to talk to her. this is really starting to bother me to the point where i just want to scream at the top of my lungs and tell her that she is fucken driving me insane.