I have a really bad cognitive style of comparing myself to others especially to my friends and on a physical scale. It brings me down so much to the point where I want to kill myself. And it's difficult to control these thoughts sometimes. I have tons of hang ups about myself and I've always been like that since I was young. I used to get teased about my physical appearance often during rough times at home when I was about 10-13 (my mom was got pregnant with this asshole and is now married miserably to him and there is a lot of chaos at home). (btw i'm 22 now) I even remember trying to kill myself at age 10, after my mom punched me in the face (i can see why because my dad died when i was 5 and she has to carry on all the burdens). I find it hard to gain self-confidence these days and have been in emotionally abusice, and addictive relationships. I had a habit of cutting myself, feel depressed every morning when I wake up and am ALWAYS late for school. And I have a feeling if this continues, I will probably die by age 25. How do I stop comparing myself? Sometimes I even want to start crying in the middle of my sentences when I'm talking about something irrelevant to my negative thinking? I hide it behind smiles and fake laughter and have a number of nervous habits. Is this thinking style going to be cemented into my personality now?