The story so far, 8 years ago my wife died and left me with a lil girl to raise, I eventually re marry and it looks ok for now So go back to about this time last year, my mum was diagnosed with cancer. She goes through chemo and into remission around Janurary. At about the same time (November 05) the house I've lived in for the past 10 years belonged to my grandma, the goverment made her sell it wanting her to become a self funded retiree. I work in a high stress job (property managment and sales). My boss is an ok guy and he realises that I can't be all things to everyone. anyhow I start to lose it a little because I was feeling that my life as going backwards. I felt that not only have I lost my wife but I'm going to lose my mum and my house all at around the same time. In February it seemed that my boss had recieved a few complaints about me and decided to have an intervention (he's a personal friend as well as my boss) so they hold the intervention at work. The result is I go to my doctor and am diagnosed with depression and am prescribed effor XR75mg for a 6 month period. I take the effexor it turns me into a zombie, I feel like it's taken my personality and washed it clean. I get bugger all sex drive and I feel like a loser because I'm resorting to drugs and can't handle my shit. In October I finish my course of meds, Almost immediatly my boss pulls me to one side and has a quiet word stating that he's noticed my agresssion levels have increased but we decide that as long as it's noted we'll just monitor how I'm going. I must say the guys at work have been good in that I tell them what I'm on and they will tell me if anything goes arry In late October my mums cancer flares up again, my Dad has a massive heart attack and I find out my younger brother has a drug problem. At this stage I still refuse to go back on the effexor and for the time being I feel like I'm handling it. I go to the docs last week and get some sleeping tabs. My doc asks me if I want to go back on the meds and I decline. Last weekend I had an open house, I was late to it (No excuse) I was wearing jeans and a collar t shirt (It's summer time here and the weekend) I greet the people, apologise for me being late and I show them through. At the end of the presentation there's alaways small talk about the weather, kids etc. We part and go about the rest of the weekend. The client calls my Boss today and compains about me being late, my appearance and how I was more interested in the weather and kids etc than selling the house. My boss writes me an email about this, sights the problems and wants to talk to me on Wednesday. I'm not one to wait because I know I can blow things out of preportion. So I go out to his house he doesn't quite know what to say he doesn't know wether or not to give me a break to let me things get together or just to let me go completely. I'm like WTF One complaint in 8 months and we're carrying on like we're back to square one again. I agree that the open house was a clusterfuck and I also note that no matter what some people will complain it's just the nature of the job he agrees with me, However he claims that other people have been saying stuff about me and when I question him about being speciffic so I can address the problems individually he won't elaborate, this is an indefensable situation. He says he doesn't want to sack me but he's made some very subtle hints. Thing is I feel if I lose this job I will drop deeper and to be honest I don't know how much more I could handle without trying to off myself (No threat I've only been there once I don't want to go back there). So I decide that I'm going to go on effexor AGAIN and seek some help as my boss seems to think that I'm not entirely over losing my first wife and having mum and dad ill along with my Brothers situation is only going to compress me into an emotional wreck. In addition to this I find out that my secratary has been talking to my boss and telling him things that I have told her in confidence only and he wants to speak to her on Wednesday and I just know shes going to say what she has to say to save her ass and that will mean hanging me out to dry with comments made that were strictly between her and me. This in turn will send my boss into wanting to kick my ass about this and coupled with the recent email I just feel he's liable to fuck this and sack the lot of us. Right on Christmas. Am I doing the right thing by going back to the meds and seeking more professional help and hitting these situations head on Or should I change jobs, pack my gear and my immediate family and run like hell?