Hey all. This is my first time posting in here. I'm actually a little nervous. But here goes. Tonight I was talking to my girlfriend, you may have seen the thread about me and her going to Carowinds today, but we were just chatting. Well I started to get down for no reason. I was diagnosed with a chemical imbalance a few years ago. That was when I was cutting on myself and attempting suicide. I got put on some meds (celexia) that made me real sick. So I stopped taking them after a few months. I'm normally fine, but sometimes I get down. Tonight was bad. I put up this away message: Then I went to sharpen a knife I have on my table. My girlfriend starts to flip out. She has a slight problem with cutting too. But she has stopped for me. But I started to cut, I didn't draw blood this time, but OMG my left arm hurts bad. She told me to stop or she would start cutting again. Well that worked. And she calmed me down. She asked me what was wrong and I told her about my chemical imbalance and how my heart told me that she loves me but my mind wanted to think otherwise. She told me that my mind was completely wrong and that she loves me and wants to be with me. That helped so much. I cried a lot too. Then I took a shower and started to feel quite a bit better. I feel kinda bad that I upset her. She has forgiven me and reassured me about us too. But it seems to me that I am the stereotypical male who is insecure. I'm just looking for a bit of support from my fellow serious OTers.