im not who i think i should be. i feel like i'm always chasing myself but i keep stumbling. i know why people get awkward around me but i cant change. There are so many people I should be friends with because we have a lot in common and whatnot, but my relationships keep running dry..and its always my fault. It used to be so much easier when i was young, but i hate myself and what i've become. i keep trying to change but i cant. i dont want to die, and i haven't thought about suicide but only because i believe this is my only chance. if i believed in an afterlife or reincarnation i'd probably be dead.