Personality wise, I definitely find I have character flaws that I can't over come. I always seem to find myself stuck in the past and stubborn to change.
I honestly don't know why I'm posting this here because I'm not looking for answers or help. I feel that this is something I've been trying to figure out my whole life and that it's something I eventually will undertand better.
I guess in the mean time, I just can't help but find myself pissed off, angry, and at upset at who I am, and that I allow myself to continue on much like I do
I'm entirely too apathetic to my situation and it bothers me to no end. I've got plenty of reasons to be happy and content with my life: great family, good friends, recently graduated college, don't have things as bad as others do; I try to live pretty self-less even though I can be quite selfish at times. I sometimes wonder if I'm bi-polar since I feel like I've been dealing with depression issues for the entirety of my life.
It's almost like I want to be miserable at times and make the world of those around me miserable as well. I don't know why, I just do. I guess that would definitely be me being selfish.
Anyways, I just wanted to rant to some strangers. I probably should consider a shrink or something, but I feel that I'd probably find myself too defensive and not erally heeding their advice