SRS I just had the first happy christmas in 3 years

RyRy

Active Member
Jun 22, 2005
18,013
DFW
This was my first happy christmas in 3 years (since my Mom died). I feel happy yet so guilty, because I spent the entire dad (noon to 8pm) with my Dad and his side of the family. I'm so guilty because this never would have happened if my Mom didn't die. I don't know how to deal with these feelings and it sucks! My Mom never said I couldn't have anything to do with my dad's family (other then his parents) but now I am closer with them then I am with most of my Mom's side of the house. I can't imagine my life without them now, and I feel so guilty for it when I get happy about it. I would almost trade having happiness that I have with them to have my Mom back. I know it's not possible, but I just can't stop thinking that if it wasn't for my Mom dying there's a great chance I wouldn't have had the opportunity to re-connect with them and be as close as I am with them. :hs:
 

METALLlC BLUE

New Member
Jun 22, 2007
11,290
Such a complicated contradiction sweet and sour, but I can tell you're grateful. I'm glad you're having some positive things happening.
 

Darketernal

Watch: Aria The Origination =)
I always say it like this: Imagine if you had died instead of your Mom, would you like to see your entire family in agony,tears, despair and misery for many many years to come just because they cannot overcome your death? Of course NOT. You would want them to be happy and live your life to the Fullest. So instead of dying for your Mom start LIVING for her.

Let it go, the decision that your mom made not ever to see your dads side was made and meant for when she was alive. The situation has changed, she is no longer there, so her words do not count anymore for the new situation. This is the reason why you need to let those words go, and allow yourself to be happy as she herself wishes you to be happy too. If the relationship with your dads side has improved then that's something to be happy about, again don't let your mom's words of the past haunt you, for you have no guilt in it because she chose to be with your dad dad first foremost ,from that you were born and both your mom's and dad's family were bonded into you, this is why you are related to them, and this is why you have full freedom and free will to choose to be with your family, this happyness is something your mom is not even allowed to take away from you, because rather merely doing something spitefull as taking revenge over the back of your life, by denying the other family the possibility to be together, she should instead have supported the well being and prosperity of both families, this because families are supposed to support eachother. This is why it is ok to be and reside within your fathers side of the family. Therefore let it rest now, serene and calm.
 

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