I live a strange life, but I do not know how to change it. I do not like how I am in so many ways that I wish I could change it. Though I have a feeling that I will always be stuck in my life that I am in right now. Some days it just seems to get so hard that I wish.... wish that I was never born. Though maybe I am heading to the right direction? Before I got food poisoning on May 4th, 2005 I was working out and walking almost every day. Then after that I stop doing it. Though starting couple days ago I am doing it all over again and starting slow and working my self up again. I mean I am not over weight (I weight between 155 to 160 pounds), but not much muscle. I would consider my self a 4 if I am lucky out of a 10. I am 20 years old and will be 21 coming really soon. I have had 2 relationships that lasted 9 months each and some others that lasted less (couple of months each). Right now I do not have a girl friend, and I have not had one since 2003. Though I am not sure how to change my life around so that I am more out there, and that girls would love to hang around me. I started a business not to long ago. I would take a picture, but I am afraid I would get law suits coming after me for causing eye damage .