Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Keith Moons Liver, Dec 20, 2004.
why is being with your family such a problem? let's start there...
Yeah , maybe explain a little bit why you want to leave.
That doesnt sound too good.
I admit, i am curious as to what they know too intimatlely that makes you uncomfortable around them .
What grade of school are you in ?
are you sure that you are ready to be alone in a house by yourself??
what happens if shit hits the fan??
anyways, I figure you have a number of options.
* getting a job
* joining a club (sport or otherwise!!)
* moving out of home
* quitting school
* talking to family about your issues
* seeking outside counsel (which you are doing now!!)
and more ...
I don't think you have much to be ashamed about as far as what has happened to you in your life, but, it seems that you haven't apologised to your family for your behaviour, and you feel left out of the loop a bit. (I am sure that they already understand what you have been through!!)
What would happen if the next time you saw your father, or mother, you pulled them aside, and said you wanted to talk??
and told them how you felt?? maybe you could prepare note cards before hand, or you could write it all in a letter, and hand it to them??
I hope that you can sort this sort of stuff out, because it could hang around and put you in more danger in future than you may realise ...
have you ever tried going into the Road to Recovery forum? Sounds like we could help out in some of these areas. in our area NA and AA have things for us to do during the holidays, it might help you to be around other people that have the same problems as you feel you do, it levels the playing field and we support each other and no one is unique or different, in that we are all working toward the same thing, recovery! check out na.org or aa.org online to see if you can find some support over the holidays.
too bad you cant get a job... if I were you I would get a job and start saving up, then pack up my stuff and move to key west florida.. get a job there, find a cheap apartment, and live by yourself in freedom. of course this all depends on money and a job..
I had a bad childhood as well. Mother was very intrusive, and father was detached. Me and my dad tried to connect better during that period but it was very rough. Physical fights were not uncommon during my early teens. Not to forget he has post traumatic stress disorder from picking up over 100 dead bodies blown to peices in a crash.
You need to consider two things. First would be family councelling, or at least see a pychologist. You need to find the roots of the problems, and you need a professional to help. If you and your mom and dad can be in the same room to work out the problems you are having, you may find that it can be resolved given time.
Trust me, your family is probally the most valuble thing you have on this earth. They bore you, raised you and got you to where you are today. Since depression and anxiety tend to pop up after puberty and continue until treated, this could be part of the reason you are having problems.
You can also see a pychologist or cognitive behavioral therapist about depression and anxiety. If you respond well to them, you can overcome your problems without the use of medications.
However, and this is the second thing to consider... sometimes pychologists do not help. This is apparent in my case. The lady couldn't change me at all, and the only useful things she tought me were deep breathing techniques and muscle relaxation techniques (pm for the techniq* if you like).
Perhaps you need to see a pychatrist. Anxiety and depression are often chemical imbalances within your brain. You said you were reacting poorly to a SSRI. I think you may be withdrawing too fast. You need to taper off these drugs or they can effect your horribly. (I know, I've been there).
For anxiety, ask for sublingual ativan tablets. These provide almost immediate releif from anxiety. They calm your muscles and mind, and you should not feel anxious around your family or others. There are other options to SSRI's such as tricyclin anti-depressants, or MAOI's. Or even wellbutrin. They work fine at releaving depression.
Either way, it's all up to you to push the envelope on this one bud. You have to make the change. Decide what is best for you and act on it. Become close to your family and love them, you don't wanna leave your house disliking them.
And you can beat your anxiety and depression. I have, and I tried everything I described and more. Plus I probally had it worse then you, not to minimize your situation. Go for it.
You need to be calm in order to talk to her. Tell her you want to sit down and talk in a peaceful manner. Say you wanna take a short vacation because of the stress you are having. Maybe go camping if you can, or go visit friends\family in another state. Anything that's different. Then come home and fix things!
And I repeat, please be careful withdrawing. Take it down slowly or you could face many bad symptoms that will turn you into a suicidal zombie
Listen to the man. Camping is the shit for getting away from it all.
Listen we all got problems, that's what family and friends are for to love you unconditionally no matter what happens,all people make mistakes in life, and in order to avoid them in the future you recognize them from the past, that's how you learn in life, You must avoid falling in life. You must get a grip on yourself, not everyone will hold your past against you, if you stop thinking that, you might feel more accepted, and start working your problems away one by one. Like my math teacher once said, if you have a problem as big as a mountain, you don't jump on top in one leap, you make many many tiny steps in order to conquer it's peak. Take a step back, think on a stategy in order to solve these problems, then get rid of it.
The journey of 1000 miles starts with the first step...
key west is not the greatest place to run off to.
why? if you are someone who needs to take off and just get away, you'll find that key west is way, way too isolated - only one way in, and one way out.
also, the topography is such so that you can never really look down on the rest of the city - the entire state of florida is relatively flat, and key west is no exception.
trust me on this one - i am the type of person who feels confined every once in a while and feels the need to break out - and south florida is not the place for that.
look on the map at the bottom of florida, you'll see exactly what i mean.
Ok well thanks for the advice and all, I think I am going to leave around 3-4am when everyone goes to sleep so I will be able to get as much daylight tomorrow as possible. I dont know where I am going to go but I will just ride towards the coast since there is less snow that way.
The only problem is I only have a bike
I just want to bike in one direction for 14 hours
Wear something waterproof and warm and have a good journey.
you are going to pack clothes, food and water aren't you??
and pitch up a tent also??
oh, well ...
have a GRAND adventure, man!!