SRS I need to talk or have people listen or somthing...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by onderground_mx3, Feb 10, 2008.

  1. onderground_mx3

    onderground_mx3 New Member

    Sep 19, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Alirght, where to start, i havn't been on OT in along time but i've reached a point in my life where I just need to talk and I rememberd the asylum so i've run to you as fast as I can. I guess namley my problem falls under my Relationships. first some back ground which i'm not sure may benefit in understanding in how I am and how this all came to be.

    My Ex and I started dating when we were 12, we dated for 7 years and had a child( please don't judge me for having a child young), she was very dominating and snapped alot very angry in life etc, we broke up and my world fell apart i started drinking heavily, very heavily infact got really angry, lost my job got kicked out of my house I mean when that ended my whole life fell apart. Passivly enter the new g/f, she met me at a bar locally a few times although every time we met it was like it was meeting for the first time beacuse i drank so so heavily i never remeberd her or really cared. I was hurting to bad to even be looking at other girls. She gave me her number a few times which i "put" in my phone. I finally completley lose it and plan to move across the country and 4 days before i leave i bump into her with some friends on the street, she comes to dinner with us ( at this time i have no idea who she is beacuse i don't remmeber her ). anyway coincidentally we talked alot that night and it was pretty good so i asked her out to dinner the night before i left. It so happened my Ex called me that night and fucked my head up really really badly so i blew her off and moved across the country the next morning.

    We continued to talk alot she got together with somone actuley she met him the night i blew her off she was upset about so her friends took her out and they met, spring break rolled around for her university and we had been talking on msn quite a bit so i got the balls and just one night called her and asked her to fly accross the country to see me on her spring break, so she did. She spent 2 weeks with me and they were amazing. When her year was done she packed up her stuff and moved to be with me and we lived there for 6 months and in june of last year we moved home stayed with my parents for a couple weeks while we got back on our feet and then got a place here locally together. There your up to speed

    So now I bring you to now weve broken up almsot a year later and she moved out the next day, she's gotten really down lately, she's an only child and really quite almost i don't know how to describe it but fragile. I'm a very tense person, i work in a high stress enviroment, i have a history of being angry, but she calms me down but she says i scare her and she can't talk to me which brought on the break up, she doesn't think my personality is good for her, even though we both know she is very good for me. So over time the issues have built up and she feels like she's lost a piece of her and i'll agree she sin't the same person she was when we got together maybe it was the fact that we never really dated and just moved in together.

    But now she says she's confused and doesn't know if she wants to work things out or not and has no answers to give me for my 10000000 questions, I didn't even realise there was anything wrong with us i thought she may have been suffereing from S.A.D or somthing. we had a fight once before litterally in my opinion the one and only other fight we've ever had and i called her and we worked it out but she said if i wouldn't have called her, she wouldn't have come back. So this time everyone tells me just give her, her space but i'm scared if i do that she'll just walk away at the same time i'm having a problem trying to find that perfect medium and i'm not sure how to? There are issues in the relationship that need to be discussed and i can't tell if she doesn't want to talk about them or does but wont let herself or if she even knows...I mean i'm definitly willing to help her heal I want to be a part of the healing process and although she does calm me 90% just with her personality theres still that 10% that she's scared of so i've decided to get some help with learning some calming strategies to help us out and i'm hpoing she'll agree to get some couples councelling with me so we can learn strategies for her to talk to me. I'm just so lost at what i should or shouldn't do.
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2008

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