This was the very first time i had seriously considered suicide as an option. i even started thinking about how i would go about doing it. i got a ticket saturday morning (by no fault of my own, but my stupid brother, yet we both were WAY drunk, and doing stupid things). i have a shitty job cleaning toilets, while putting myself through school, making my life quite hectic during the week. im basically in love with this girl, who i had messed around with before, and i (and my best friend) are friends with. i dont know what she is thinking and dont really want to alienate her and i if i try and make a move on her. so i dont know what to do. there must be more, but i cant think of it right now. i guess i dont really know what i want from you, just wanted to get it off my chest i guess. i know i should be happy to even have a job, but it sucks, and i work with this old ass guy that moves WAY too slow. i suppose most important to me to get advice about would be the girl.