i think my girlfriend has fallen out of love with me. this could end up a giant mess of a web but im gonna try this out ... its my first time posting in here and i just dont know what else to do. first off we have been together 7 months today ... ironic ... just realized that. we met our senior year of college and it was basically love at first sight. we did everything together and it looked like she was developing into the one. but over time she has changed. let me preface this a bit more. she spend junior spring abroad in Australia where she had a life changing experience. she did nothing but party and travel and see the world...along with meet boys. one boy who she was crazy about dised her hard and she wanted to be with him so badly. i would read messages about how much she wanted to be with him and she wants to go back and live in Australia. now that shes back in the states its the other way around. he will send her emails and tell her how he would do anything to be with her and how if she was still there he would purpose to her and everything. she said its nothing and would brush it off every time i would ask. me being the jealous type would ask about how serious it was and what she really felt and how they were sexually and shes like we never did anything. and i knew that wasnt case. so back to the other part. we graduated in may and spend all of june together and we were going to try to do the distance saying no matter what. i moved out to san diego and she moved into hoboken for her job. we are both (although she wont admit it) are very hypocritical people. im the extremely jealous type and take things way to personally so when things are not going as planned i get worried and it sparks emotion. i like the emotional stuff, and the cute messages and emails and i thought she did as well, but as ive said...over time things change. she has gone from sending messages about how much i mean to her and how special and lovable i am to nothing at all. ill send her a note a day, and ill get no response. we fight constantly and every time it ends up with her exasperated and hanging up on me. i try to talk to her roommates to get answers and they kinda help but the first thing they do after we talk is go tell her and then it blows up in my face "why are you bothering my friends...now they are all mad at me" what hurts the most is how her number one thing is lying. and what kills me the most is the desire to know everything. i hurt myself by secretly having her facebook and email passwords. i go back and read old emails. and this is my problem. last night pushed me over the edge. this australlia kid still emails her...she ignores him for the most part but its an email every other day. and the best part is he has a girlfriend now! but he tells her how much he stills thinks about her and how he still wants to give it a chance. to make it even better, hes planned a trip to the states just to see her in january. AND I KNOW SHES GONNA SEE HIM. but back to last night. went back and read all her old emails and in it were messages and pictures from fall of 06 so this was a year ago ... months before she met me, saying how much she loves him and how she would do anything to be with him and how she wants to move to australlia and how they would be intimate and everything ... that ended around new years but they are still in contact. what kills me is she would write on his facebook wall and tell him how much she missed him and cuddling and all that cute shit. in australlia they use msn messanger ... i have her name to watch just in case and i saw she blocked me once so she could get on without me knowing .. i unblocked myself and sure enough when i got on it last night after months ... i was back to blocked when she told me she doesnt even know if its still on her computer. now back on my end. we start dating, she sends a couple cute messages and then it stops. i write on her facebook wall and she deletes it. i request a relationship and she wont accept it. she says shes not into that whole pda thing and how everything should be kept in private. yet i get nothing. i dont get an IM i dont get a message or anything. i dont get an i love you or an i miss you. i call her and she hangs up on me and ill call back and shes like leave me alone, yet she tells me she doesnt want to be single and when were together its perfect. but why wont she express any love. i have to tell my self not to call her or text her cause its not getting any better. she says she would never cheat on me but i have no idea what goes on. she goes out on the weekends and gets drunk and i have no idea what boys she meets or anything. and it makes me sick to my stomach. she has such a hidden past and finding all this new information out last night has not made it any better. how can you love some one so much or tell them that you love them and that you want to marry them and then it change just like that. to think she would move to australlia for this kid and has a hard time about moving to san diego. shes coming out in two weeks to visit. im trying to hold off to say anything til she is here to risk her not coming at all. sorry for the long post but i cant sleep and its tearing me apart. i look to her as the person i would be with for the rest of my life. im not ready to go out and meet new people. but i want the truth and all of it. i dont know what to do.