The song "Down in a hole" by Alice and Chains pretty much sums it up. I just feel helpless, always unhappy. Part of it stems from being unemployed, but the rest is just a shit load of other things. I just think sometimes it would be so much easier if I just walked away from it all. It would be easier for me, my family would get over it soon enough. Life just doesnt appeal much anymore, my medications dont help, I do not have insurance so I cant see a doctor. My fiance wants to just go get married at the courthouse to get on her insurance but I refuse. I already spent $7k on the ring Im not wasting that on some fucking jailhouse marriage.