Some of this is embarassing for me to post, but I'm just gonna lay it all out there. I haven't been in a relationship (or had sex) for almost 4 years. I'm a very introverted individual, and just spent this time pretty much alone (with a lot of porn and masturbation). Recently I found a girl that I really had a connection with, and she was very interested in me. She even said that she thought I could be her soul mate. We started dating, and have been fairly serious for about 3 months now. After not have sex for 4 years, it was a very scary thing for me to start a sexual relationship again. Needless to say our attempts at sex (or lack there of) have just about killed this relationship. We've been VERY close to having sex twice, but after having a raging hard on for hours before that, as soon as it comes down to do the deed, my little man goes limp. I've even been inside her, but had to stop because i felt like I was gonna cum real quick. I really think this is all psychological, but it is killing the relationship. The last time we spent the night together, we had a really great time kissing and what not, but I was to nervous/scared to try and take it to sex. Now it seems we have lost all affection for each other (especially her to me), and through a conversation tonight (we do have really good communication) it was basically boiled down to her not wanting to start affection because she knows it's not going to go anywhere. She says that if we would have never tried to take it to the next level, it would still be ok that we haven't had sex, but the fact that we tried, and it didn't work out makes it the way it is. This is just killing me that this has seemed to destroy the relationship with the only girl i've been able to attempt to love in the past 4 years. I'm just extremely depressed that all affection in the relationship was lost, and she even said that "right now" it just feels like we're friends. I don't know what to do to try and get her to feel that longing affection for me again. Part of me thinks we should just fuck each other's brains out, but I think she'll feel that if we do that now, it will just be to try and get the affection back. Another part of me thinks I should just let her go, and she if she really does care for me. I'm 23 btw, and she's 19. Sometimes I think she's a little immature, and it's possible that subconsciously i'm a little apprehensive to enter a sexual relationship with her, but that might just be an excuse I tell myself. I'm not gay (as some people might accuse) and she definitely turns me on, and I can turn her on, but so far we haven't had a successfull sexual experience. I just don't know what to do I guess. Feel free to ask me anything about the situation, I'm willing to be completely open about it. cliffs: No gf for 4 years. Find a girl I like/love. Sex doesn't work out (tried twice). Affection is lost. What do I do now.