On Monday I lit the bathroom on fire in my school. I got expelled and arrested and charged with 2 felonies. I just got out of jail yesterday and I'm still really afraid and freaking out about what's going to happen to me. The thing is that I don't know why I did it, I don't even remember doing it and even denied to myself that I did something like that. I'm not some 12 year old that did it for fun, I'm 17 and almost an adult and don't know what drove me to do stupid and crazy things that I don't even have a reason for doing. I have to pay over 1000 dollars in damages and there is a possibility I can be charged as an adult and go to prison. The thing is that I'm usually pretty bright, I'm not some dumbass who likes to just do stupid things for fun, something happened on that Monday with my mind that pretty much killed my ability of thinking and made me go crazy. I used to have severe ADD in middle school which got me put on Ritalin for a few months, but ever since then I was off of medication and never had any mental help. I really need help figuring out what's wrong with me, I've been able to think of nothing but suicide for quite a bit and I'm really afraid that if I do go to prison I might actually do it. I don't know what to do right now but I just really want to find out what's wrong with me and maybe even try to explain my sickness to the judge so maybe he could get me some mental help. I'm not even going to have a real lawyer, just a court-appointed one so I'm extremely afraid that I just destroyed my whole life and don't even know why it happened. Please no flames. This is a 100% serious thread and I want to get mental help and don't want to wind up in prison or spending several months in a looney bin. Some things I noticed about myself is that I don't get a lot of sleep, I can switch between being really quiet and tired to being hyper and crazy in only a few minutes. I sometimes talk waaay too much, while other times I won't even make a sound. I get pleasure out of anything dangerous that can put me in harm, and once I begin getting that pleasurous feeling I lose all control of my mind and just do idiotic and illegal things without the ability to think about it. I also always get an extreme amount of ideas flowing through my head nearly all the time. I'm also always extremely spontanious when it comes to daily things. I can sometimes save money and then for no reason at all spend it all in a day, and sometimes I even have different personalities. I sometimes try to sound and act like a completely different person and I don't know why.