I'm not quite sure. He wanted me to purchase some illegal substances for him and hold on to it until he could come see me to get it (from my very distant past I know people and he wanted me to contact them after years of no communication just for this reason). I have a child in my home, I have respect for myself not to do that. It just screams stupid. I told him I wasn't going to do it, because I would be the one fucked in the end. Not him. What hurts the most is that I am losing my husband over drugs (among other things), I've already lost 1 friend over crack (I walked into her house one day to find her hittin the crack pipe in front of her 1 year old, the house was filled with smoke and the smell made me sick. The baby just sat there crying obviously with a contact buzz). Why doesn't he understand? I'm not doing this to be a Bitch to him, I'm doing it because A) I care about him..he's my friend and I don't want to see him lead a destructive life. B) There is no amount of money or respect I could get from him to make this worth it at all. The last email I sent to him I tried to explain that I am not doing anything wrong and that he's made me feel like the biggest piece of shit on Earth because I am doing the right thing for myself and for him. I just wish he would understand. He's my best friend in the world and for him I would end the friendship if that's what makes him feel better. Just so long as he knows how much I love him and care (which hopefully he does). It honestly seems to me like I've been given a few good things recently just to lose the really important things just as quickly. I'm not sure I can live like this anymore.