SRS I think my relationships in trouble

[TwistedMind]

okay so I have been exclusive with my girlfriend for 7 months now, we have been dating for 9 months or so and we have known each other for a year.

I love her but I am starting to wonder if we are right for each other.

I recently learned as of this morning that shes a closet racist. Ever since Obama won the election shes been n word this n word that, talking about how someones going to shoot him etc etc.

I guess I should have seen it comeing since shes from louisiana but this just completly took me off guard.

Another thing that has me questioning our relationship is her family. Her dad drives me up the fucking wall. He never shuts up, its so bad that I don't even want to go to their house anymore. He constantly puts her down and tells her shes worthless.

I talk to her about how I think its fucked up and she shouldn't let him do that and she gets all pissed off at me for talking shit about her dad then we fight.

I don't know what to do. I can't change the fact that shes racist, at least I don't think I can. I also have n fucking clue how to deal with her dad except asking her to move in with me, but I don't know if thats such a hot idea now that I find out shes a racist.

HELP

im 27 shes 25

 

[Viper]

Dump her.

 

[MattThom01]

So not worth it. The racist thing would be enough, you can't be with someone you don't respect, and who wants to be with a girl who allows herself to be walked all over and disrespected?

 

[jojomcdougal]

I had one of these recently.

Operative word being "had".

I suggest you do the same.

 

[kiri]

ohhh yikes. deal breaker. abort!

 

[Stilgar1973]

Stop me and correct me when I have something wrong:

You have been dating her for 7 months.
For all those months things have been peachy. You respected each other, you have been having good times.... you may say you have fallen in love with her.

Then that bastard Obama goes out and wins an election over old man McCain. For whatever reason this pisses her off and she starts shooting off her mouth saying nigger this and nigger that, blah blah blah.

Am I reasonably close to describing things?

Okay. Maybe she is a closet racist, maybe she isn't. In my opinion one incident doesn't make one a racist.
Some people go into these elections with all there emotions tied into the outcome of them, then when what they want to happen doesn't they loose there minds.

Case in point: Liberals loosing 2000 and 2004. Tons of people went out of there little old heads when GWB got elected and then reelected.

I think it is kind of shallow to be this way, but what are you gonna do?

I got one question for you. Last Monday, the day before the election, where you happy with the relationship? Where you fantasizing dumping her?

If you where then go for it. Use this as an excuse.

If you where not, don't dump her over this. Talk to her about how her choice of words is offending you. Point out that she can still express her feelings about the election, you just don't want to listen to nigger this and nigger that.

If she respects you it will make your relationship stronger.

 

[iwishyouwerebeer]

Yep, 8 months is right about when you start learning who the real person is. She sounds like a waste. Hope you break up with her.

 

[MudRacer4x4]

Dump her.

yeah. it sounds like my relationship. you will get tired of the emotional hell

 

[Lazy D.]

wtf, why is her being racist so important ? Accept her for who she is. It's not like she goes around killing black people, it's just meaningless blabbering.

 

[Brian May]

Another thing that has me questioning our relationship is her family. Her dad drives me up the fucking wall. He never shuts up, its so bad that I don't even want to go to their house anymore. He constantly puts her down and tells her shes worthless.

I also have n fucking clue how to deal with her dad except asking her to move in with me

From someone in a very similar situation regarding the father, I'm going to tell you right now to get out NOW. My GF's father is a complete bi-polar maniac. Not only does he put her down but he's also been physical (I've only known about this the past few months).

He is the most overbearing, mentally unstable person i've ever met. He is all knowing, everyone is a moron except for him. He never shuts the fuck up either. Her mother practically begs me to answer his calls, even when he blows my cell phone up while I'm working. When he says "jump," his kids better jump or he's going to make their lives a living hell. He is controlling and would prefer that his kids lived at home until the day he dies. We can't go out without him calling 5 times in under 3 hours, wanting to know where my gf is and what she's doing. He is the kind of person that if you don't tell him what he wants to hear, when he wants to hear it, his mood will suddenly change. If I upset him in anyway, he will take it out on my gf behind closed doors (now he just sticks to verbal abuse).

If I could go back, knowing what I know now about her family, I wouldn't have even wasted my time. He causes us so much aggrevation that it's just not worth it. As wonderful as she is, it saddens me to say this: I wish I never got involved with her. Now she's pregnant and I'm stuck with her family. I wish I was dead. I think about suicide all the time. There isn't a moment that goes by that I don't think about blowing my head off with a shotgun. I fucked myself over and I have no one to blame but myself.

Just get the fuck out NOW

 

[MattThom01]

wtf, why is her being racist so important ? Accept her for who she is. It's not like she goes around killing black people, it's just meaningless blabbering.

probably because for most people, it's stupid to put down an entire group of people based on no reasonable evidence? Not to mention, it tells a lot about her intelligence, or lack thereof.

Practical reasons: What if the TS has African American friends? Well, probably can't take the gf around them...and who wants to pick between their friends and a gf?

He can accept that she is racist, but it by no means dictates that he stay with her.

Plus, all that negativity would get old, fast.

 

[kiri]

From someone in a very similar situation regarding the father, I'm going to tell you right now to get out NOW. My GF's father is a complete bi-polar maniac. Not only does he put her down but he's also been physical (I've only known about this the past few months).

He is the most overbearing, mentally unstable person i've ever met. He is all knowing, everyone is a moron except for him. He never shuts the fuck up either. Her mother practically begs me to answer his calls, even when he blows my cell phone up while I'm working. When he says "jump," his kids better jump or he's going to make their lives a living hell. He is controlling and would prefer that his kids lived at home until the day he dies. We can't go out without him calling 5 times in under 3 hours, wanting to know where my gf is and what she's doing. He is the kind of person that if you don't tell him what he wants to hear, when he wants to hear it, his mood will suddenly change. If I upset him in anyway, he will take it out on my gf behind closed doors (now he just sticks to verbal abuse).

If I could go back, knowing what I know now about her family, I wouldn't have even wasted my time. He causes us so much aggrevation that it's just not worth it. As wonderful as she is, it saddens me to say this: I wish I never got involved with her. Now she's pregnant and I'm stuck with her family. I wish I was dead. I think about suicide all the time. There isn't a moment that goes by that I don't think about blowing my head off with a shotgun. I fucked myself over and I have no one to blame but myself.

Just get the fuck out NOW

holy crap

can't you just take your gf and move across the country with her? how old are you guys?

 

[7960]

From someone in a very similar situation regarding the father, I'm going to tell you right now to get out NOW. My GF's father is a complete bi-polar maniac. Not only does he put her down but he's also been physical (I've only known about this the past few months).

He is the most overbearing, mentally unstable person i've ever met. He is all knowing, everyone is a moron except for him. He never shuts the fuck up either. Her mother practically begs me to answer his calls, even when he blows my cell phone up while I'm working. When he says "jump," his kids better jump or he's going to make their lives a living hell. He is controlling and would prefer that his kids lived at home until the day he dies. We can't go out without him calling 5 times in under 3 hours, wanting to know where my gf is and what she's doing. He is the kind of person that if you don't tell him what he wants to hear, when he wants to hear it, his mood will suddenly change. If I upset him in anyway, he will take it out on my gf behind closed doors (now he just sticks to verbal abuse).

If I could go back, knowing what I know now about her family, I wouldn't have even wasted my time. He causes us so much aggrevation that it's just not worth it. As wonderful as she is, it saddens me to say this: I wish I never got involved with her. Now she's pregnant and I'm stuck with her family. I wish I was dead. I think about suicide all the time. There isn't a moment that goes by that I don't think about blowing my head off with a shotgun. I fucked myself over and I have no one to blame but myself.

Just get the fuck out NOW

he is still in your life because SHE allows it.

now he's going to treat your child like he treats her, and you. rather than blow your brains out and relegate your child to this asshole's demands, how about taking your g/f and child and getting the fuck away from her family?

 

[Lazy D.]

probably because for most people, it's stupid to put down an entire group of people based on no reasonable evidence? Not to mention, it tells a lot about her intelligence, or lack thereof.

sure, but everyone has their own flaws. And some or most of them can be seen as stupid by other person. My wife likes to buy shoes, she's got about 100 of them, but she still buys them. I think it's stupid and "it tells a lot about her intelligence", but that's ok because I love her. She's not stupid overall, but does stupid things from time to time, just like all of us do. No one is perfect, if he can't accept her for who she is that means he doesn't love her.

 

[iwishyouwerebeer]

sure, but everyone has their own flaws. And some or most of them can be seen as stupid by other person. My wife likes to buy shoes, she's got about 100 of them, but she still buys them. I think it's stupid and "it tells a lot about her intelligence", but that's ok because I love her. She's not stupid overall, but does stupid things from time to time, just like all of us do. No one is perfect, if he can't accept her for who she is that means he doesn't love her.

@ comparing a racist to a shoe whore

 

[Brian May]

If there is one lesson i learned life, it is, you are better off living alone than being with people who you don't want to be with.

that is so true

 

[iblameluke]

@ comparing a racist to a shoe whore

oh, epic lulz.

To the TS,

You need to get your kid and your girlfriend away from her family. Like someone said earlier, if you stay there and you let your child be subject to the same controlling things that you are experiencing right now it will just live the same life as your girlfriend. Get away from her family. It's not fair to you, and it's especially not fair to your child. x2, team fall back. gtfo.

 

[MattThom01]

sure, but everyone has their own flaws. And some or most of them can be seen as stupid by other person. My wife likes to buy shoes, she's got about 100 of them, but she still buys them. I think it's stupid and "it tells a lot about her intelligence", but that's ok because I love her. She's not stupid overall, but does stupid things from time to time, just like all of us do. No one is perfect, if he can't accept her for who she is that means he doesn't love her.

As beer already said...being a shoe whore is nowhere near being racist.

His standards have to come first...and if one of his standards includes not being totally ignorant, or thinking less of people for something they have no control over, than he will have to dump this girl.

Heck though, this should be one of the standards EVERYONE has...shouldn't even need to be said.

To illustrate my point...

You're a dumbass. Why? Because you're a guy.