I'll try to keep this short... actually, fuck it. Have I ever kept ANYTHING short here? This thread will be divided into two sections: 1) emo bullshit and 2) the conversation Part 1 What happened So I was visiting my parents last night, about to eat dinner, when I heard a familiar ring; it was the ringtone on my phone assigned to my ex's number. At first I thought "yeah right, it must be my sister's phone, because my ex and I haven't communicated at all in the last few months" but my mind quickly remember that I'm the only person in my family who has a Motorola phone and therefore it could only be my phone. I pull out my phone and it says "new txt from (ex gf)." Now, I seriously had one-itis fucking bad for this girl. But in the last month or two, I was doing much, much better. In fact, I had progressed to the point where I didn't even think about her very much, and when I did, the memories were not laced with emotion which is a fucking HUGE step in the recovery process. Why did I have one-itis for her? Three main reasons. 1) She was fucking gorgeous (no pics, don't ask, with my luck someone here knows her). 9.5/10. She had a thousand suitors, including celebrities and millionaires, which is annoying, but it comes with the territory of dating a hot chick. 2) When she wasn't being a bitch (see point 3 for more on this), we got along perfectly; same sense of humor, same sense of everything, clicked perfectly in almost every situation, and the perfect match in bed. 3) She was a fucking master of push-pull, which I recognize in hind-sight as being BULLSHIT, but having been on the receiving end of this, I can vouch for its effectiveness. There were warning signs and red flags that my logical mind recognized, but because of those 3 reasons, I kind of overrode them. It's stupid, but that's how your brain works. I'm ending this paragraph now so I don't turn it into a 5 page paper on the dynamics of our relationship. Back to the point. When I saw her name on my txt log, I experienced a feeling I hadn't felt in months. I got nervous, anxious, almost shaky. I was thinking "what the fuck?" in my brain. It doesn't matter what I thought I felt; right here I was having a chemical reaction providing proof that I am not 100% over her. We had a brief txt convo (details below), but for the rest of the night she was on my mind. I even had a dream about her, but it wasn't a sex dream, it was like a dream where we met up and we were talking a bit. Part 2 The conversation You may remember a thread I made in the On Topic forum called "I want my ex gf's cat cuz she's gonna let it die" http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=3070334 The conversation is related to that. Her: If u have a place..and want (the cat)..ur more than welcome 2 take her. Im moving and cant take her w me. I know u will take good care of her. Me: I still live at (roommate's). Let me ask around. If u take her 2 a shelter let me kno which one and i'll get her after i get a place. Thx. Her: Yah. No prob. My future roommate doesnt like cats and it would break my heart if she was mean 2 her. I want (cat) 2 have a good owner. It hurts 2 get rid of her. Her: I dont really want her goin bak 2 a shelter... i think its too hard on her. Me: Ya. Ur prolly moving b4 i get a place so she mite have to go sumwhere else 4 a while. I'll c if i can find some1 else in the meantime so she doesnt hav 2 go 2 a sheltr Her: Yah. I move in 2 wks. I just want her 2 have a good home. No cat haters. Me: I will keep u posted on if i find anything Her: Ok. Thanx. I'll keep her as long as i can. So I was happy that it wasn't bullshit like "so, how are you doing?" or some obvious "lets get back together" bullshit. However, I wouldn't be surprised if this ended up being one more try-to-piss-me-off plot of hers. The cat is the sweetest cat I've ever seen, and I would take her, but seriously I want a 3rd party to drop her off or something because I really don't want to see my ex. I know the strong alpha thing to do would be to see her and not be phased by it at all, but I'm not at that point, so too bad. And the worst part of all was this little thing made me have the thought that, I bet anyone I date now, or whoever I end up marrying, will not be as physically attractive as she was. Not that there aren't other 9s and 10s out there, but she was like my ideal, like she fit what I considered ideal before I ever even met her. Is that defeatist thinking? I know things other than physical looks matter, but I'm a guy and I like fucking hot girls. Sorry Vag. I'm regressing a little in my progress, it seems.