I was told I wasn't taking enough risks with my penis *pics* v.memepage

ppzzus

Well-Known Member
Oct 13, 2003
81,756
Cincinnati
This is kind of a weird one and it's getting weirder by the day. Little backstory i run a meme page in my hometown, its mostly inside jokes about trashy bars. It's had a decent following for a small town, 3kish followers. Kinda turned into this thing where everyone is trying to figure out who i am. it's been ongoing for about 5-6ish years. I was in a relationship with a girl for a few years who made me deactivate it bc she thought girls were sending me nudes on there. It never happened and i never thought anyone would until now.

When i got home in may someone asked me if i would start posting again, so i did. Some targeted memes a few times a week, i make some dumbass post and it gets 10k shares before the zuck takes it down :mad: anyway people are chortling. Keep in mind my identity is still secret and i never had the audacity to start messaging girls on a meme page, then one day last week i said fuck it. This goth girl posted a story like "omg all the men i've called daddy in the past year arent talking to me anymore and it's fathers day" so i jokingly respond and say "OMW" somehow this starts a conversation. She tells me she's on a terrible date, so i offer to take her out for a drink (should be noted im still sober and im not breaking that) after im done working on my buddies shitbox truck. She's 25, im 37. I send her my real identity and she's in. I pick her up in the bus and we make casual talk until we get to this little bar by my place. It's going ok but i dont think its going particularly great, after all im a meme page admin with a hidden identity, i am ALL the red flags. I'm thinking there's zero chance im getting laid from this. Im just being myself and she starts holding my hand in front of my buddies. I love goth girls and im thinking i got a chance here. She's 6'2" and im 5'10", weird experience. She complaining she's hungry but waffle house is the only thing open. We start walking to the bus and she accosts me and tells me she wanted to leave way before to smash. She wants to eat first so i drive to waffle house. waffle house was closed (i didnt think that was even possible) we smash in the bus in the waffle house parking lot. Best head i've ever had, she could suck start a 16 wheeler. It was like i had the last cock on earth. I get us a hotel room after.

She doesnt have very many pics on her profile with a clear view, but heres one i pulled:
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I drop her off the next morning i dont get a mile down the fucking road and i get tagged in THIS:

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I ask her to take it down. Were gonna hang out again this weekend.

Fast forward to today. I get a message from this 32 year old lady who's new to town asking what bars she should check out. I suggest a few chill bar's in the area, she says thanks and we have some light convo. At the end i say "if you need some company im free tonight" she doesnt ask me my real identity but agrees to meet me. WTF are these women doing i could be 50000 pounds and smell like cheese. Whatever. I tell her "im riding a orange and purple dirtbike and I've got a camo fanny pack & hat on" unfazed by this description. We meet up and she's super cool for the first two hours. Really smart, has her shit together. Tells me she got out of a long relationship blah blah kids blah blah. Very pretty. Im fairly certain she's out of my league. She has about 3 drinks and starts talking about how cute i am and how funny my memes are. Look i know how ridiculous this sounds, i couldnt believe the words coming out of this womans mouth. So fucking weird when people talk about meme's IRL. Im thinking ok this is pretty fucking cool, but im guarded. Something is up but i cant put my finger on it. She takes two shots, in an instant she's fucking HAMMERED. She's coming onto me so aggressively it's creeping me out. "YOUR MEMES ARE SO GOOD I BET EVERY GIRL IN TOWN IS TRYING TO FUCK YOU. THE MEME'S ARE SO AWARE" im cringing. It feels like a movie. Her kids are calling her, she's very loudly talking about wanting to fuck me and half the bar can hear. So i get her to close out and she slams another shot as i beg her not to. She lives a block away, it takes us half an hour to get there. We walk past another bar with a bunch of sports bro's outside and she starts making out with me AGGRESSIVELY. The sports bro's are cheering, this is my nightmare. She is sticking her tongue so far down my throat im fighting not to gag. I get her to her front door where she immediately starts crying and talking about how she doesnt have anyone. She cant remember her key code, the oldest of her kids is about 13 and opens the door. I get her into the house and her kid is like "uhhhhhhhh who is this"? me: "uhhhh my name is Dustin, she drank a little too much. Make sure she drinks plenty of water and eats this pizza slice i got her". I leave immediately.

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WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCK IS HAPPENING.
 

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