I was 18 and in love. The summer before college. She was everything I wanted. She was also two years older. I played it too hard. Came on fast and came on quick. We kissed. Ecstacy. Then I messed up. Bad. Out came the neediness learned in a relationship throughout high school. She recoiled. I lost her. Summer love equalled a broken heart for me. But I learned. I had always been the analytical type. From now on play it cool. Be a gentleman but always a little unavailable. No life story and be my girl on the first date. Girls come and go but friends and your career are forever. Then I changed. Suddenly I understood the game. Easy to get a girl now. Then the money came. Career took off. Six figures. Nice car. Trips to the Caribbean and Miami at will. I abused the game. Wanted a girl? Got a girl. Women. Women at will. Not only one at a time. Emptiness. Why? Finally the one. Everything I wanted version B. Actually better. Slow play on both sides. Now she's my girl. Life feels fulfilled. One year passes I'm great. Then business trips. I hate being alone. I bring her. One time she can't come. I go alone. I hate being alone. Cold bed in a foreign country. Hit the club. See a beauty. The game still works. Five nights of lust. Now back home. Guilty but hide it well. She doesn't know. Then move abroad. Business before feelings. Long distance will work baby? No. Then I think to myself. I wish I knew then, what I know, so I had never become me. Oh what could be.