SRS if I have to smile at one more person

[TiffanyTJB]

I manage a luxury condo building and the owners here expect me to be very smiley and helpful and clipper. Everyone here is super nice and I love my job.

But my boyfriend dumped me over IM at the beginning of the month while I was at work. That day, and every day all day, people are always coming to chat with me pleasantly and ask how I'm doing and talk about the weather, and inside a lot of the time lately I really want to tell them I'm f*ing miserable and I feel like my life is falling apart.

Some days are better than others. Some days I feel like I'm not smiling, I feel like I'm showing my teeth like an animal does if you pull it's tail. So far I have not done anything out of the ordinary so nobody knows anything is amiss, but omg sometimes I just want to scream because everyone here is so pleasant and I have to mirror that, smile when I'm speaking, and be super helpful.

A lot of people have asked me what I'm doing for the holiday weekend and I want to be like "I'm going to the part time job I had to get because otherwise I can't pay the rent because I got dumped" but these people wouldn't understand because the condos in this building can go for a million dollars and up.

So anyway, I just wanted to say that jeebus I am tired of smiling at people and making pleasant conversation. I think I am going to drink a bottle of wine at home tonight lol.

 

[deusexaethera]

Maybe you should let your coworkers know what's happening instead of just waiting until you boil over and blow up at a customer. You're just setting yourself up for failure if you hold it all in.

 

[Darketernal]

ya don't make your heart a murderhole, i think its best to let it all out in here, or at a trusted environment and/or to a person you really trust. Maby a counceller or a psychologist would help too.

 

[MattThom01]

do you have friends or family that you can talk to about this stuff? Sounds like a lot of it is you just wanting to get stuff off your chest

 

[Minx]

Harsh but I hope you pull through. I know the last thing you want is for everyone to pity you, but I think you should talk it out with co-workers that are close....might help. Really.

 

[Stilgar1973]

When I used to work telemarketing I got to train people.
One of the first things I used to tell people is to never, ever start the conversation with, 'How is your day going?'. God FORBID they answer that question.

I went to Disneyworld a bunch of years ago. We were sitting in the Lion King show. It was really something. There are 20 people out no the floor doing these incredible acrobatic moves. Truly impressive stuff. The show lasts 45 minutes or so. The people had so much energy.
So we are leaving and something occurs to me.
These guys on that floor have to do that performance 4, 5 times a day 5 days a week, month after month. Every single performance they have to be 100%. On top of there game. There is no room for these guys to have a down day.
I mean, I go to work and some days I just can't be bothered. My allergies are acting up, I have a headache, my wife is fighting with me, bills... whatever. My mood is bad. But these guys, they have all the same problems. But you look at them. Smile ear to ear. Doing these impressive gymnastics that could seriously screw them up if they did it wrong.

The obvious answer is that I am not cut out to do what they do. Damn. But who is? I have always been impressed by people that are like that.

 

[9c1 driver]

I too have a job where I am expected to be friendly, like everyone else is saying ,talk to someone about what happened and get it off your chest that usually helps, I would not not talk to any tenants about your personal life

and the person who dumped you can go to hell

 

[Stilgar1973]

Dumped you over IM. That is rude.

I dated this woman that lived an hour and 15 minutes away from me. She was a really decent person. But there was just simply nothing there. It was just one of those situations where no matter how hard I tried I just wasn't falling in love with her. Asked to name negatives about her I really couldn't do it. It just simply wasn't there.

So I drove an hour 15 minutes. Sat down with her for like 15 minutes and then drove an hour 15 minutes home.

Dumping someone over IM is just bullshit.
A real man doesn't do crap like that.

 

[TiffanyTJB]

Thanks you guys!
I have talked to my mom, sister, friends and head shrinker. My mom and sister never liked him so they think this is a good thing. It was kind of tough telling them because they had no acknowledgement of me being upset, they were practically throwing a party.
My friends are a really good support system so I have had a chance to get this off my chest, but sometimes it's hard sitting at work when I have to be so chipper all the darn time.

I don't really have coworkers, unfortunately. I manage the building by myself but I have a porter/janitor guy that I supervise. He does not speak a lot of english so I told him what happened with simple language and hand signals but that was about it.

And yes, I agree that getting dumped over IM is kind of shitty but I think it's the same logic as dumping someone at a restuarant because you know they won't make a scene, where if you do it in private they can yell and slam doors and cry in front of you.

I guess now what I need to do is figure out how to be single so I don't jump into something else quickly and end up with another of the wrong type.

 

[TiffanyTJB]

It just keeps getting worse lol... my "office" is a concierge desk in the lobby of the building with windows on all 3 sides. I cannot even scratch my butt in private.
The up side is that nobody ever hangs out in the lobby, but the down side is that if someone walks through the front door or gets off the elevator there is my smiling face and a "it's pretty nice outside, isn't it?"
Lucky for me I only cried at my desk once and it wasn't too bad.

Some days are better than others. He is moving out a week from today and I guess I had better start looking at the good things or I will drive myself crazy.