SRS I'm a big, blubbering vagina and it's making me miserable...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by surrender, Sep 21, 2009.

  1. surrender

    surrender [ON MEDS]

    Jul 31, 2001
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    ...even though I should be the happiest I've ever been, and I know it. Warning: massive wall of text ahead

    I'm currently a first-year student at my first choice graduate program, and I'm having a great time so far. My classes are as interesting as I expected, and I'm doing quite well grade-wise (so far). After a middling undergrad experience, where I only participated in one noteworthy activity, I've been involved in multiple student organizations and participated in multiple intramural sports. As far as I know, I'm well liked by my peers, and have even been asked by the upperclassmen to set up some events to increase social participation for the incoming class.

    I guess this is where I should mention that I'm a massive introvert. I'm 24 years old, and I've never been in a relationship. I've been diagnosed with dysthymia (chronic mild depression) and social anxiety, and I was fully depressed throughout most of my undergrad career, which really killed my social development. With help from a psychologist, I overcame my depression and the worst parts of the social anxiety; I've since had occasions when I felt down, but the feelings typically subside after a day or two. Getting into grad school was a huge lifeline for me, and I've been determined to make the most of it, so I've pretty much forced myself to "fake it" and act extremely social; I chat with my classmates before and after class, never miss a social event, and participate in a bunch of activities. I still need my personal time, like any good introvert, but I've made an impression as a talkative and very outgoing person.

    Yet, since moving here a month ago, I had been completely happy until these past few days. It's girl issues, but at the same time, it's really not - it's more frustration with the fact that I have no sack.

    The story: Last week, I went to a school social event. I took notice of one of my classmates - she's quiet in class and dresses pretty frumpy, but she dressed up on this evening and looked great. We didn't talk much that night, but I chatted her up more during the week. We ran into each other at a party on Friday, and then a group of us went to the local bars afterward. One of the bars started playing some good music, and I was thinking about asking her to dance, but my roommate beat me to it. They ended up dancing for a while, and I hung back as a fat drunk girl hit on me and I tried my hardest to look disinterested. The two have been chatting for the past couple of days, and they have a date this week.

    As an aside, I should mention that I've been in this position before - I'm interested in a girl, a friend swoops in and talks to her, and he gets her number while I hold my dick. I felt really resentful towards my other friend (for less than a week, at least), as I do now, even though neither guy deserves it - they did absolutely nothing wrong, and they didn't even know that I liked either girl.

    I'm not even mad that I missed out on this particular girl; I'm mad about the principle of the matter, that I didn't even try to approach her in the first place, and it's even more painful when someone else does take the initiative. I've never approached girls while sober - I haven't been entirely successful while drunk, but I've at least fooled around with a few. The only dates I've ever been on have been within the past year, and I can't even take credit for approaching either girl: one of them was set up by a mutual friend, while the other came up to me at a bar.

    Anyway, this brings me to my current predicament. I'm feeling depressed, and I know that it's irrational, because my life has never been better. There are two things that worry me:
    - My roommate is an awesome guy, and I know that I shouldn't resent him for this. I haven't been acting any differently around him (for the time being), but I'm worried that I'll continue to hold this against him.
    - Besides my complete lack of success with women, everything in my life is going great right now. I don't want this to end up affecting other aspects of my life and fucking over my college experience again.

    How should I cope with this? And since I've successfully conned my way into being extremely social, how can I take another leap of faith and stop being such a wimp around women?
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Oct 8, 2002
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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Your social anxiety is again getting the best of you.

    The problem is resolved in 'caring'

    If you were standing next to a bag of trash, you wouldn't become anxious, nervous,shy, paranoid and neurotic, hell afterall its just a bag of trash why would you care? If you do the same thing with a beautifull girl then you won't get nervous anymore. Don't go to a girl with the idea of 'i have to date her, i have to have(sex with) her. All wrong, you have to show you have a life of your own to live. So simply ask questions, like what time is it(forget your watch on purpose) and when a convo tends to die out, ask more questions. Just go for 'experience' and in time you will learn how to deal with woman.

    Oh yeah and read the Don Juan Bible, its a treasure when it comes to dating.
  3. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

    Feb 22, 2005
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    Houston, TX
    don juan bible has some gems

    google search gun witch as well.

    what you need to do is go out and chat up a fuckload of women and keep getting rejected into you start finding out hey.. they are actually saying YES

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