I grew up spoiled, got everything I've ever wanted, yet I can never remember when I was last happy. My mother has been a slave to her sons, yet I never appreciated it.. My dad too, but he's naturally just been distant. I have the greatest fiancee in the world, yet I treat her like shit. I'm always stirring up arguments, I tell myself it's because I don't see her often enough, I really think that's why. I am too spoiled. Nobody close to me has ever died. I'm living in a shell.. somebody please help me. I just can't bring myself to doing things like hugging my parents and sincerely thanking them for everything they have done for me. I really am an asshole, and I hate it, but I feel powerless, like it's the hand I was dealt and am stuck with. The only time I can really realize how bad I am is when I smoke pot, it allows me to set aside that persona and look at things from a drifferent angle where I can see myself actually doing wrong, otherwise I see myself with very few flaws. Do I need to lose someone close to me to learn to appreciate everyone? Can I even fix this? Does all of this sound like anytihng anyone is familiar with?