Been mostly absent from the vag for the last year, since I started dating this girl seriously... popping my head in when I'm depressed. I feel bad about that...
Current situation is this: moved in with girl about a month ago. At the time things weren't perfect between us, but with our situations it was either then or a year from then. We chose to move in.
I was unhappy with the level of intimacy and affection in our relationship in the months leading up to the move. She was giving reasons for these that seemed plausible, but admitted shortly before the move (and after we signed a lease) that she had actual lost most of her sexual attraction towards me.
Now she has a history of self-destruction when depressed, so I did my best to write it off. I rationalized it because 1. I had little choice, we were moving in together and 2. I have a history or being weak when it comes to letting go. She said she loved me and hoped that moving in would help us.
Two weeks into it, she decides it's actually making it worse and that we need to breakup. I cry like a bitch because for some reason, despite everything she has said, I can't let go of what we used to have (first half of the relationship was great in that she was the aggressor). I write her a letter telling her how I feel and accept my fate, making my way through the days generally sad.
A week goes by, we get physical one night and it was the best we've had for months. She starts acting like nothing happened... talking about buying furniture, etc. I roll with it because I feel like this is what I want. A few weeks go by.
Brings us to today. We're strong in a lot of ways, but the intimacy and affection are not at levels I'm happy with. I feel rejected most nights, like she doesn't love me at all. Or at least in the same way.
I'm caught in a downward spiral. The rejection saddens me, depresses me. I walk on eggshells around her. I'm no longer the confident, charismatic guy she fell in love with. I feel her slipping further because of this, which throws me deeper. I built an entire lifestyle out of "fake it till you make it," but I'm reaching my end.
I'm a little tipsy and just needed to air things out. I'm sure I'll hear "you need to end it" and what's left of the rational-me agrees. I just can't let go. I think I'm an obsessive lover.
Current situation is this: moved in with girl about a month ago. At the time things weren't perfect between us, but with our situations it was either then or a year from then. We chose to move in.
I was unhappy with the level of intimacy and affection in our relationship in the months leading up to the move. She was giving reasons for these that seemed plausible, but admitted shortly before the move (and after we signed a lease) that she had actual lost most of her sexual attraction towards me.
Now she has a history of self-destruction when depressed, so I did my best to write it off. I rationalized it because 1. I had little choice, we were moving in together and 2. I have a history or being weak when it comes to letting go. She said she loved me and hoped that moving in would help us.
Two weeks into it, she decides it's actually making it worse and that we need to breakup. I cry like a bitch because for some reason, despite everything she has said, I can't let go of what we used to have (first half of the relationship was great in that she was the aggressor). I write her a letter telling her how I feel and accept my fate, making my way through the days generally sad.
A week goes by, we get physical one night and it was the best we've had for months. She starts acting like nothing happened... talking about buying furniture, etc. I roll with it because I feel like this is what I want. A few weeks go by.
Brings us to today. We're strong in a lot of ways, but the intimacy and affection are not at levels I'm happy with. I feel rejected most nights, like she doesn't love me at all. Or at least in the same way.
I'm caught in a downward spiral. The rejection saddens me, depresses me. I walk on eggshells around her. I'm no longer the confident, charismatic guy she fell in love with. I feel her slipping further because of this, which throws me deeper. I built an entire lifestyle out of "fake it till you make it," but I'm reaching my end.
I'm a little tipsy and just needed to air things out. I'm sure I'll hear "you need to end it" and what's left of the rational-me agrees. I just can't let go. I think I'm an obsessive lover.
Like you said, sounds really shitty... I hope you gain the strength to ignore false hopes.
sorry giz, sounds like its over, just hasn't ended yet. She said she's lost her attraction for you. That's not what you want for the rest of your life.
