Yeah, I'm new here, and none of you know me, but I'm hoping someone can help. It seems a lot of things just aren't going the way they used to, and quite frankly, I'm scared. First of all, I'll say a few things about me. I'm 24, male, living in south Florida with my girlfriend of 3 years (I moved here from Michigan in the beginning of '05), I work in the secondary market of the mortgage industry, and I'm a singer/songwriter (acoustic guitar, keyboard, electric guitar). First of all, my job is on the downward spiral. The market we're in right now is the subprime market, which no one is interested in anymore, and there's just no money to be made. I used to fund 125+ loans a day, and now I'm down to 12-20 loans a day. Those extra loans accounted for about $600 extra income I received every month, and when it went down, my lifestyle changed completely, but it was still ok. Just this past week, they've taken away our bonus every month entirely, and for someone on a base pay as small as mine living in south Florida, that's dangerous. This industry lives on bonus as an expected perk, and not so much of a "treat", and I'm really hurting because of it. My girlfriend and I just signed a new lease for a bigger apartment (before I heard about the bonus cut) which we will be moving into next month, and will cost me $100+ more a month than our current place does. Between rent and all my bills, I'm left with about $300 left for the month, and that doesn't include gas or food. I'm a car enthusiast, and own an 05 Mustang GT which gets about 16mpg (premium fuel tune), so it would just make me feel worse to sell it than it would to be poor, but judging by my budget, I'm going to be in the red every month. My girlfriend and I have had a rocky relationship for about 2 years now, and I'm guessing it's just the love that keeps us together, and knowing that we've been through some serious shit together, and are still here. But sometimes I wonder why we even try. Sometimes I even think that breaking up would be the best thing to do, but if we did that, neither of us could afford to live, since we both pay half of our living costs, and can barely afford that alone. For the past 2 months, I've been too stressed out to even write any new music, or even pick up my guitar. Considering writing music is the most important thing in the world to me, it's really painful to not do it, but I just can't fucking get the drive to just DO IT, especially when my gf is home whenever I am. I like to have peace and be alone when I write/record my music, and I can't seem to ever get that, and it's starting to get frustrating as hell. I started getting into writing heavily about 5 months before I started dating my girlfriend, and before we got together, I wrote about 12 songs. In the three YEARS we've been together, I've probably written 10. That's really fucking sad. However, the new apartment has two bedrooms on opposite sides of the house, so it will give me some space to be able to do what I need to do, so that might help. I don't know. So here are my problems...summarized: 1. I need a new job, but I'm pretty materialistic, and LOVE to have the freedom to spend money whenever I want to. Nothing crazy, I just don't want to worry about that $20 I'm going to spend on a round of golf, or that $2.99 I want to spend on a fucking box of Ritz crackers. I have a high school degree, some college completed, am very good with computers, and have a little bit of sales experience. Does anyone have any options to suggest for a job that I wouldn't have to work my ass off to make $45k/yr+? 2. I don't know what to think about my relationship. I really love her...a lot, but I just feel like I can do better for myself (personality wise). I think she's beautiful, and our "alone" time is fantastic, and she is capable of carrying interesting conversations, but I swear we're fighting 97% of the time, and it sucks...especially since I'm the one who's always blamed for shit. 3. Music is my goal in life. If I could do it for a living, I would shit myself. I don't know where to start, though, since I can't afford an agent, professional recording, or the time to devote to it 100%. Any suggestions? 4. I'm depressed a lot, sometimes for no reason at all, but mostly because I think life sucks, but I see people around me who are worse off than I am, yet are always smiling and having a jolly good time with life. HOW DO I GET WHERE THEY ARE (mentally). I really want to know. Thanks for reading, and thanks for any advice you can give.