Maybe I'm twisted or something. I am a nice, normal guy who gets along with people, does well in school, has a nice family, etc. Deep down I know for a fact I have both anxiety and mild depression, neither of which really surface for other people to notice. I handle them pretty well). But I've noticed sometimes I look forward to bad things happening so I can feel bad again. I ask a girl out and somewhere deep down hope that she rejects me (I often get what I wish for in that regard) so I can be all sad and can feel bad for myself. Am I just so used to being depressed that I am starting to like it?