LOVE Is she expecting to much?

zmiller91

New Member
Dec 27, 2007
366
Ive been dating my girlfriend for 4 months, and its the most serious relationship ive been in. We rarely fight, it doesn't take much to make us happy when we are with each other, and we are extremely comfortable around each other. However, it seems recently that she is expecting to much. I try to do everything for her, i take her to dinner to her favorite restaurant every friday, which is 20 dollars a plate, i pay for everything, i take her everywhere, i schedule my week around her, ive bought 200 dollar pair of jeans because she wanted me to and i wanted to make her happy (im whipped, you can say it), and when i asked her out i tried to do it in a cute way, when i asked her to formal dances ive tried to do it in a cute way. When she thought she was pregnant i bought her tests and i was there every step of the way. Ive tried to do everything.

However, this past week i told her that i told the person that can understand me the most that she may have been pregnant, and she freaked out. I reminded her that she told 5 people, 4 of which she isnt close friends with, and she told me that it was different because i told a girl. So, that went over well.

A day after her best friend told me that my girlfriend gets a little annoyed because i dont do everything perfectly or say the right things. For example, she was sick this past week. Every day i went to her house and watched shitty chick flicks and laid with her until she fell asleep, but she got mad at me because i didnt bring her flowers. Also, periodically ill write her notes about how much i love her and how much she means to me.

And most recently, she wanted me to do a facial with her (not sexual). I told her maybe, and i was obviously apprehensive about doing it. However, she made the appointment for thursday. Today i told her that i didnt want to do it, and that id rather just take her out to eat. She flipped shit at this point saying that she looked froward to it, and the she doesnt know why i would do it, and that it was a jerk move, and that it surprised her (i rarely say no).

And i really do love her, she was my first love. Our history has been a bit rocky throughout high school (we dated freshmen year, broke up, hated eachother until jr year, and went back out).

So, i this her asking for to much? Or is this me being a shitty boyfriend?
 

Dahlia

Active Member
Feb 12, 2008
27,405
Lexington, KY
You are ridiculousness for doing everything for her. She has you wrapped around your finger.

Usually if a bf even comes to see their SO when they are sick that should be appreciative enough. And taking her to an expensive place every week just because she wants to? I think you are being over the top nice to her.

Does she do anything that really deserves all this attention?
 

spydur86

New Member
Oct 16, 2003
718
Grand Rapids, MI
Honestly sounds like a girl who you're never going to make happy. Basically, it sounds like she needs to grow up and realize that relationships are give and take and a boyfriend isn't someone who's just there to pamper you and be at your beck and call. Personally, I wouldn't stand for this in a relationship... I'm my own person, I do my own things, have my own life and I don't schedule my life around anybody but me. It reaallly seems like she's keen on the fact that you schedule your entire life around her and she's looking for your breaking point. It's a cruel test, my friend. You've only got 4 months invested and I really don't see this getting better unless you start standing up for yourself and being your own person. Oh, and try making her pay for dinner (or at least her half) once and see how that goes over. You're setting standards that you're going to have a hard time keeping up with in the long run. Sorry if that was long-winded and hard to read, it's late and I'm tired. But yeah, I had a girlfriend like that once, didn't end well.
 

Alaya

Active Member
Jun 28, 2006
21,609
Yeah, someone that expects that much will never be happy.

Once you meet her every demand, there will be more. And more. [as there already is]

It's partially your fault though for setting such a precedent in that relationship. Next time around, keep a nice hold on your balls from the beginning and don't be such a pushover.

She sounds ridiculously selfish and immature.
 

demosnat

Active Member
Aug 26, 2006
4,643
It doesn't matter if her expectations are 'too much' what matters is that her expectations are not in line with what you want to provide, she only got this far because you let her! Put your foot firmly but gently down about what your role is in the relationship (her partner, not her provider).
 

ASoT

New Member
Jun 6, 2007
1,593
I fucking hate hearing about guys like you who do all this shit for undeserving, selfish bitches. No wonder so many worthless cunts walk around thinking they deserve all this greatness. It's because guys like YOU give it to them and then they'll always be on the chase for someone who can offer them more. She was upset because she wanted flowers when she was sick? Do you have any idea how fucked up this sounds? Is she 12?
 

Two toys

New Member
Jan 29, 2004
8,174
UC Santa Cruz
fuck the get out now business.. stick with it, enjoy things while you can if you still can.. but the honest truth is it will be over before you are 25.
 

ww_Crimson

Active Member
Sep 3, 2007
21,597
Bay Area
Paging yail, xapium, ware, etc.

What could you possibly enjoy about this relationship? It's like she's the queen and you're a serf, waiting on her hand and foot as if it's your sole responsibility to keep her happy. Grow some fucking balls and dump her and move on. I know you're feeling so love struck because it's the first relationship you've been in this long but do yourself a favor and go and re-read what you wrote. You bought her $200 jeans to make her happy cause she wanted you to? I'd keep you around too if you were buying me $200 presents. Do you have a life outside of her? I know if my girlfriend was sick for a week I'd make an effort to visit her a few times but between my work and school schedule she'd have to settle for a phone call or text message at least two if not three days out of the week.

You need to have the ability to say no and stand up for yourself instead of getting walked on like a door mat. Until you respect yourself you will not have any respect from others, women included. We all have issues but your relationship needs a critical evaluation.
 

MattThom01

Active Member
Jan 2, 2006
8,506
Ive been dating my girlfriend for 4 months, and its the most serious relationship ive been in. We rarely fight, it doesn't take much to make us happy when we are with each other, and we are extremely comfortable around each other. However, it seems recently that she is expecting to much. I try to do everything for her, i take her to dinner to her favorite restaurant every friday, which is 20 dollars a plate, i pay for everything, i take her everywhere, i schedule my week around her, ive bought 200 dollar pair of jeans because she wanted me to and i wanted to make her happy (im whipped, you can say it), and when i asked her out i tried to do it in a cute way, when i asked her to formal dances ive tried to do it in a cute way. When she thought she was pregnant i bought her tests and i was there every step of the way. Ive tried to do everything.

However, this past week i told her that i told the person that can understand me the most that she may have been pregnant, and she freaked out. I reminded her that she told 5 people, 4 of which she isnt close friends with, and she told me that it was different because i told a girl. So, that went over well.

A day after her best friend told me that my girlfriend gets a little annoyed because i dont do everything perfectly or say the right things. For example, she was sick this past week. Every day i went to her house and watched shitty chick flicks and laid with her until she fell asleep, but she got mad at me because i didnt bring her flowers. Also, periodically ill write her notes about how much i love her and how much she means to me.

And most recently, she wanted me to do a facial with her (not sexual). I told her maybe, and i was obviously apprehensive about doing it. However, she made the appointment for thursday. Today i told her that i didnt want to do it, and that id rather just take her out to eat. She flipped shit at this point saying that she looked froward to it, and the she doesnt know why i would do it, and that it was a jerk move, and that it surprised her (i rarely say no).

And i really do love her, she was my first love. Our history has been a bit rocky throughout high school (we dated freshmen year, broke up, hated eachother until jr year, and went back out).

So, i this her asking for to much? Or is this me being a shitty boyfriend?

Dude. Do you have a fucking life outside of this girl? I'm not gonna tell you you need to break up with her, although that is definitely a possible outcome from this, but you might be able to change this for the better.

STOP WAITING FOR HER ON HAND AND FOOT! She's an adult, she can take care of herself or survive alone for a day or two.

You want to know WHY she complains? Because she knows you will do every single thing she asks you. It sounds great at first, but after a bit, it gets fucking boring. You've reduced yourself to a toy for her, not a human being.

So...start changing things. You guy like to go out to eat every Friday? Cool, go somewhere different, have her pick up the tab for once. I'm assuming she works, she can contribute financially once in awhile.

You schedule your week around her? No. Schedule your week around YOU! Work/school comes first. Then your important hobbies in your free time. Then you see her when it is convenient for both you and her.

If she wants you to have certain clothes, and you don't want to spend the money on them, fine, she can buy you the clothes, or just deal with it.

Stop trying to ask everything in a cute way, just ask it plainly.

Finally...you've been watching too many chick flicks with her. The best bf possible is NOTHING like the guy you see in chick flicks. Stop trying to be the bf you think girls want based on TV and movies. That's not reality.
 

iwishyouwerebeer

you shut your cunt
Sep 1, 2006
31,941
Everyone has pretty much said everything for me :bigthumb:

What a nightmare. Can't believe guys put up with this shit, all for pussy. And only 4 months in?? :rofl: I have to laugh since you are the guy that said she probably is staying with you because you give her great oral, more like you are her slave-who wants to leave that?
 

1.8t

Member
Nov 26, 2003
821
I can't believe what I just fucking read. How any man can put up with a woman like this is beyond me...
 

k1ko

Active Member
Sep 22, 2002
6,647
ATX
Yah you are pretty much the one at fault here for getting yourself in this situation. Because you have treated her so well, she has this built up expectation of you. You kind of screwed up at the beginning by building this up to where we are now. A relationship shouldn't be about you always doing things for her, it should be reciprocal. Contrary to popular belief, girls subconciously dont want you to be that "knight in shining armor". They want someone they can respect and look up too. You are still pretty young from what I can tell in the post so I'm not going to give you too much shit about it. You learn as you get older and this is probably one of the first lessons you will learn!

From now on, if you dont want to do something don't string it along and say maybe. Say "no, I dont want to do that". When she inevitably gives you hell for that, just be mature about it and say you don't want to do it and thats final.
 

iwishyouwerebeer

you shut your cunt
Sep 1, 2006
31,941
Pull your nuts back out and learn to be a man.
Unfortunately as many times as we say this nothing will change. It's his first serious girlfriend and it'll most likely end in fail with him being bitter towards women, calling them all "whores" even though being a pushover was completely stoppable on his part.
 

ForgottenSpiral

Hope and Irony
OT Supporter
Feb 2, 2004
23,336
NoVA
This will ultimately backfire. You might think it is a good thing to give your girlfriend everything she wants, but the truth is quite the opposite. If you do everything she wants, she'll get tired of you and leave. People need to be challenged.
 

MattThom01

Active Member
Jan 2, 2006
8,506
Either that, or she'll break up with him and he'll blame himself, saying "I wasn't good enough for her". Then, in the next relationship, he'll try to do this shit even MORE.

Hopefully he'll learn though
 

ForgottenSpiral

Hope and Irony
OT Supporter
Feb 2, 2004
23,336
NoVA
Unfortunately as many times as we say this nothing will change. It's his first serious girlfriend and it'll most likely end in fail with him being bitter towards women, calling them all "whores" even though being a pushover was completely stoppable on his part.
Either that, or she'll break up with him and he'll blame himself, saying "I wasn't good enough for her". Then, in the next relationship, he'll try to do this shit even MORE.
In for him doing both. :bowrofl: That's what I did when I was younger. :hsd:
 

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