the other day my gf and i were messing around and i told her she should go down on me. she was kind of giving off vibes like she didnt want to, but then she was like "ok, i guess i will, but then u have to fuck me." at this point i was turned off because i dont like getting head when the chick isn't enjoying it. i phrased it such that i was planning on fucking her after she went down on me for a bit. oh, my gf had already cum at this point, and i had just gotten out of the shower so i know i was clean and fresh and everything. ok back to the story. so i'm instantly turned off, like to the point that i dont even want sex anymore. i was trying to figure out why, and this is what i came up with. one of my exes made giving head seem like a chore, and so now i kind of have a complex about it. at the same time, i love going down on my gf, and so i expect the girl im with to love going down on me. i cant think of a possble situation where she would want me to go down on her, and i wouldnt want to (unless she like hadnt showered in a few days or something but u know what i mean). i want the girl im with to LOVE going down on me and always be up for it because that's how i feel aout whatever girl i'm with. i also dont to be i one of those situations where getting head is a "special treat" or whatever (you know what i mean) because a) i like it too much to only get it occassionally and b) that is a situation where the woman is using sex for power/control. so when my gf didnt want to, not only did it make me feel gross and undesireable, but i worried about endng up in one of the aforementioned situations. normally my gf has no problem w giving head and says she enjoys it. and i mean full blowjobs where she finishes and swallows, which isnt even what i wanted in the situation here. i guess tho ideally i want a gf who gets as excited about sucking my dick as i do about going down on her. and since i cant think of a reason when i ever wouldnt want to do it to her, i wonder what's up when my gf doesnt want to. really my last gf was a bitch and made it seem like a chore. i hate that. every girl before her loved to do it but now if i get anything less tha like 100% excitement and enthusiasm i feel like its just a chore or act, and as every guy knows theres nothing worse than an unenthusiastic blowjob. so am i being retarded here for completely losing my boner/arousal when my gf didnt want to go down on me?