SRS It is with absolute heavy heart and sorrow I make this thread. *RIP Bugalu*

Scoob_13

Hello Nice FBI Lady
Oct 5, 2001
74,527
Howdy Arabia
Don't forget about her and his parents. Check in. A lot. After the first 6 months, check in even more. :hug:

People don't know what to say to the bereaved, especially when it's so fresh, but sometimes you just don't have to. Just validate how much all of this sucks and let them cry, talk about him, relive memories. Let them know you're really grieving hard, too. It helps to know people loved him. This thread is testament to that.
^^^^^^ This, 1000%.

When my dad died, I had a couple of friends from high school come to the funeral and back to the house just to hang with me. I couldn't tell you a single thing they said, much less a single thing I said, but the fact that they were there is something that's still with me 22 years later.

On top of that, it took about 9 months for me to break through the grief and come to accept what had happened and understand aspects of it that I had really gotten in that window. In that 9 months I went through all sorts of levels of depression and coping mechanisms, none of which were terribly healthy for me, some of which impact me to this day.

During those 9 months, I had friends reach out and I pushed them away, and eventually when I got through to the acceptance side, I went back to those friends and thanked them for trying. Looking back, I recognize, psychologically, what I was going through, and wish I would have sought out appropriate counseling during that time.

I say this to hopefully encourage you folks that were close to @Bugalu to take the help, and to reach out to each other, to know each others pain, and to spread the load, so to speak, and to engage with the families. Don't wallow in the misery for longer than needed, but instead celebrate your friends triumphs and life. Reach out to professionals for help, and even communities (like the Subreddits previously listed), or even folks here, because there are those that have gone through it and know your pain.

You're not alone.
 

wait*what

OT Supporter
Mar 8, 2007
92,640
Houston, TX
That Australia trip was such a blast. We had such a good group and all got along so well. Cam was the most amazing host and we all have been wanting to return the favor ever since. I know Chris would have planned an awesome time for you guys.


s8Ix82t.jpg



Then he and I met back up in Ft Worth when I wore that ridiculous jacket for the midland concert. I was single at the time and he was such a bro offering to take pics the entire night and letting me enjoy my little rhinestone cowboy fantasy :rofl: All night long people wanted pictures of the jacket and he never seemed annoyed at all. I can’t say I would have done the same.

YqJXd6Q.jpg



Here’s one with one of the guitar players from the band.

Hvxg3lz.jpg



And of course the pic that my fiancé says caught her attention.


ptfMVpM.jpg



We had plans to meet up when I was in Nashville this March but just couldn’t make it happen between his schedule and the tourist plans I already had in place. Really wish I had made it a priority. Would have loved for the SO to meet him. And of course I was still trying to get out there this month. It’s hitting pretty hard now thinking back on those memories and missed memories. I remember he went to California for a celebration of life for a friend who committed suicide. Chris was adamant about anyone being able to reach out to him at anytime if they needed someone to talk to. I know he was genuine with that promise too. Rip buddy.

:rofl:
I remember that thread
 
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12xalt

I lost a bet, that's why
Super Moderator
Sep 14, 2001
120,360
Hazel Dell, WA (Portland, OR)
Don't forget about her and his parents. Check in. A lot. After the first 6 months, check in even more. :hug:

People don't know what to say to the bereaved, especially when it's so fresh, but sometimes you just don't have to. Just validate how much all of this sucks and let them cry, talk about him, relive memories. Let them know you're really grieving hard, too. It helps to know people loved him. This thread is testament to that.
Might be nice if she could see it :dunno:
 
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NiggaPHX420

OT Supporter
Jan 17, 2002
50,327
Phoenix, AZ
That Australia trip was such a blast. We had such a good group and all got along so well. Cam was the most amazing host and we all have been wanting to return the favor ever since. I know Chris would have planned an awesome time for you guys.


s8Ix82t.jpg



Then he and I met back up in Ft Worth when I wore that ridiculous jacket for the midland concert. I was single at the time and he was such a bro offering to take pics the entire night and letting me enjoy my little rhinestone cowboy fantasy :rofl: All night long people wanted pictures of the jacket and he never seemed annoyed at all. I can’t say I would have done the same.

YqJXd6Q.jpg



Here’s one with one of the guitar players from the band.

Hvxg3lz.jpg



And of course the pic that my fiancé says caught her attention.


ptfMVpM.jpg



We had plans to meet up when I was in Nashville this March but just couldn’t make it happen between his schedule and the tourist plans I already had in place. Really wish I had made it a priority. Would have loved for the SO to meet him. And of course I was still trying to get out there this month. It’s hitting pretty hard now thinking back on those memories and missed memories. I remember he went to California for a celebration of life for a friend who committed suicide. Chris was adamant about anyone being able to reach out to him at anytime if they needed someone to talk to. I know he was genuine with that promise too. Rip buddy.


I hope you fileted all that tuna for our boy Chris.


Fantastic jacket.
 
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westheimer

OT Supporter
Mar 31, 2015
16,869
DC
Serious question, is it normal to go that early even with chronic alcoholism?

I know people who abuse will see those same sorts of issues but I didn't think going at 40 was that common. Wonder if there was another underlying issue compounding it.
 
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Grape_Ape

OT Supporter
Sep 1, 2003
88,576
The A
Serious question, is it normal to go that early even with chronic alcoholism?

I know people who abuse will see those same sorts of issues but I didn't think going at 40 was that common. Wonder if there was another underlying issue compounding it.
I’ve see uncles drink like tanks straight into their 80s, I’m talking morning, noon and night. Then things like this happen and it’s scary af
 

Dusty Busterson

OT Supporter
Sep 19, 2007
16,449
Las Vegas
Serious question, is it normal to go that early even with chronic alcoholism?

I know people who abuse will see those same sorts of issues but I didn't think going at 40 was that common. Wonder if there was another underlying issue compounding it.
My biological father drank himself to death at 37.

No clue if he had any underlying health issues though, he died in 1997 and I didn’t know he had existed til I was in my early twenties.
 

NiggaPHX420

OT Supporter
Jan 17, 2002
50,327
Phoenix, AZ
Serious question, is it normal to go that early even with chronic alcoholism?

I know people who abuse will see those same sorts of issues but I didn't think going at 40 was that common. Wonder if there was another underlying issue compounding it.

Just like any other ailment or addiction, we all have different tolerances.

My old man smoked 2-3 packs of marlboro reds for over 50 years and lived to be 69.

I feel like he got 20 extra years that someone else deserved.
 

Rev. Johnny Vegas

Make Ministry synth pop again
Jun 13, 2001
99,436
Serious question, is it normal to go that early even with chronic alcoholism?

I know people who abuse will see those same sorts of issues but I didn't think going at 40 was that common. Wonder if there was another underlying issue compounding it.
I've seen people that were gone from alcoholism in their 20s; I've seen people who had 40+ year drinking careers before they made it into the rooms of AA. There's simply no way to know.
 

Sp33dealer

Bully Troll Crew
Aug 3, 2005
50,152
DFW
I’ll miss him. I felt like I had a connection to him given some of our similarities

We both had spent some years of our youth in the South Bay in LA and loved it there. We both “escaped” CA so we connected on those two things.

I would like to contribute to something (anything really) for his GF/family/dog but I’m not good with ideas on this. I hope someone here can get us setup with something like that, I’d love to contribute and I’m sure others here would also.
 

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