and its a long story. The bottom line is I miss her. Very much. Talking to her for just a few minutes tonight... it wasn't enough. But then again, seeing her, talking to her, nothing would ever be enough. I would tell her I miss her, but I know its inappropriate, and she would know that too. I know to be deserving of the respect I desire I have to do whats right, and that means respecting that she is still married until the divorce is final in 6 months. And I know her heart isn't really ready to move on too, its just been so much for her. Although I do think that anyone, especially a woman in her condition would love to feel loved, and loved she is, but thats irrelevant and I can't think about that right now. Seeing her waddle her cute belly carrying my son to the car makes my heart burn in a way I've never known. That makes tonight especially hard, and I know that this is just the beginning of hard situations that will be more difficult in the next 5 months or so. OT, I'm emotional tonight and I'm typing here, to you, to let this out instead of calling her, or texting her, which in my mind I know wouldn't be right. Not for quite awhile yet anyway. Thank you for listening.