SRS It's time for my biannual drugs/alcohol recovery thread.

Grape_Ape

OT Supporter
Sep 1, 2003
88,490
The A
Haven’t drank in over a month mainly because I started working out heavy again, going to do a nice staycation with the wifey in a few weeks so that’s going to be lit it was a good break
 

stevezissou

OT Supporter
Jul 15, 2009
38,484
US
Haven’t drank in over a month mainly because I started working out heavy again, going to do a nice staycation with the wifey in a few weeks so that’s going to be lit it was a good break
working out consistently was the biggest deterrent to drinking because I didn't want to feel like ASS on the gym floor.
 
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crotch

crotch

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Oct 12, 2001
185,600
Nashville, TN
Injured his back bad in high school and they prescribed OxyContin…and 15 years later here we are.
my sister in law fell a few months ago and hurt her back and she’s on percs. i told her to be careful. shit can hook literally anybody even with no past experience with addiction
 

TheGreat8

Well-Known Member
Jul 14, 2006
38,361
GA
Hey yall. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing at this point:o
There’s a small part of me that wants to finally experience like without having to deal with the whole “oh fuck I need more now and I’m. 350 miles from my connect so I’m fucked” type stuff…

I just want to go back to normal me, which is impossible but fuck…I need to start reclaiming myself and actually get “better”. :(

Apologies if this is the wrong post for this. I just don’t know. Depression has me fucked up and I feel like everything is garbage. Ugh.
 
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crotch

crotch

😑
Oct 12, 2001
185,600
Nashville, TN
Hey yall. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing at this point:o
There’s a small part of me that wants to finally experience like without having to deal with the whole “oh fuck I need more now and I’m. 350 miles from my connect so I’m fucked” type stuff…

I just want to go back to normal me, which is impossible but fuck…I need to start reclaiming myself and actually get “better”. :(

Apologies if this is the wrong post for this. I just don’t know. Depression has me fucked up and I feel like everything is garbage. Ugh.
what drug? what is keeping you from wanting to quit?
 
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Dusty Busterson

OT Supporter
Sep 19, 2007
16,270
Las Vegas
Hey yall. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing at this point:o
There’s a small part of me that wants to finally experience like without having to deal with the whole “oh fuck I need more now and I’m. 350 miles from my connect so I’m fucked” type stuff…

I just want to go back to normal me, which is impossible but fuck…I need to start reclaiming myself and actually get “better”. :(

Apologies if this is the wrong post for this. I just don’t know. Depression has me fucked up and I feel like everything is garbage. Ugh.
It’s not impossible. I’m three years away from drinking daily, and having severe withdrawal symptoms if I didn’t. At one point it got so bad after about three hospital trips over a year, that I hoped I just wouldn’t wake up one day. My wife was researching basic life insurance because I had no job to speak of. I honestly didn’t care about anything except drinking by 2018 when i went to rehab for the sixth time. I couldn’t go more than a week without binging.

The doctor basically told me I was on my way to dying from liver cirrhosis, pancreatitis, even something like an asthma attack while blackout drunk would likely be the end.

I had eight rehab stays from 2014 to 2018, ranging from a week to the last one being six months. Three hospital stays including one for $63k in 2014, that the hospital wrote off because it would have taken me til the year 2103 to pay it with what I could afford.

Today, thanks to LSD, I’ve “stayed stopped” from all drugs except weed since July 25, 2020.

My liver and body are perfectly healthy for a man my age (33), with no signs of any kind of liver disease. I’ve lost 25 lbs since then as well although I still have a bad soda habit.

Wife and I are both working full time, together we make 4x what we were back when I was drinking and life is much better.

I’ve rediscovered the joy in life and the “old me” that my wife and parents had missed for years, has returned because I’m no longer a depressed, anxious, drunk mess.

If you want to talk, PM me.
 
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TheGreat8

Well-Known Member
Jul 14, 2006
38,361
GA
what drug? what is keeping you from wanting to quit?
Opiates. Hydrocodone and/or oxycodone.

I’m prescribed some by a doctor but inevitably take them too fast, at which point I get them from the street until my next refill. I have a chronic kidney condition so I have a legit need for pain control but I don’t remotely follow my prescription. Life is miserable without doing anything for the pain but also miserable because I abuse the meds:o
 
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crotch

crotch

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Oct 12, 2001
185,600
Nashville, TN
Opiates. Hydrocodone and/or oxycodone.

I’m prescribed some by a doctor but inevitably take them too fast, at which point I get them from the street until my next refill. I have a chronic kidney condition so I have a legit need for pain control but I don’t remotely follow my prescription. Life is miserable without doing anything for the pain but also miserable because I abuse the meds:o
tough situation ngl.

i don’t envy being in chronic pain and also being in recovery. seems difficult af.

any possibility in trying a meeting or talking with your doctor about the abuse without them instantly stopping prescribing them to you?
 

TheGreat8

Well-Known Member
Jul 14, 2006
38,361
GA
tough situation ngl.

i don’t envy being in chronic pain and also being in recovery. seems difficult af.

any possibility in trying a meeting or talking with your doctor about the abuse without them instantly stopping prescribing them to you?
Instantly being cutoff is the fear and exactly why I don’t mention it to my doc. If it was a matter of a simple diagnosis without a shitload of testing then I would risk it but it’s not and it would be super weird to go to a new doctor and bullshitting like “I think I have this slightly rare condition but no I can’t tell you my old doctor because they would tell you I abuse my meds and you won’t see me, also let’s skip allllll the basic treatments and go straight to where I am now…”

I don’t KNOW that would be what happens but I can’t imagine telling a doctor I abuse medication would end with them giving me more medication:o

A meeting is possible but I feel horribly hypocritical going to one and knowing full well I will have just taken or will be taking more of what I’m in the meeting for.
 
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crotch

crotch

😑
Oct 12, 2001
185,600
Nashville, TN
Instantly being cutoff is the fear and exactly why I don’t mention it to my doc. If it was a matter of a simple diagnosis without a shitload of testing then I would risk it but it’s not and it would be super weird to go to a new doctor and bullshitting like “I think I have this slightly rare condition but no I can’t tell you my old doctor because they would tell you I abuse my meds and you won’t see me, also let’s skip allllll the basic treatments and go straight to where I am now…”

I don’t KNOW that would be what happens but I can’t imagine telling a doctor I abuse medication would end with them giving me more medication:o

A meeting is possible but I feel horribly hypocritical going to one and knowing full well I will have just taken or will be taking more of what I’m in the meeting for.
well i believe none of this will be rectified if. you don’t address the issue of sourcing the pills outside of the rx. you could go to a meeting and talk about it there about how you need the medication for chronic pain but you also abuse it, run out of the script early and try to find a temp sponsor there. i’m sure you’re not the first to enter a room and be in this scenario.
 

TheGreat8

Well-Known Member
Jul 14, 2006
38,361
GA
Oh wow, if that’s the case I certainly need to do more reading regarding suboxone. I had mostly written that off with my understanding that it blocked the pain relieving meds I need.
My shitty, half-assed “plan”, and “plan” is HEAVILY stretching the word has been to try and taper down to a healthy(ish) dose of pills(ie my actual script in the prescribed amount) and then just moving on with life. Obviously the glaring issue there is I have little to no self control when I start to hurt. I’m fully aware my addiction will make me THINK I’m in excruciating pain when I’m actually not, so that’s a bit of a mind fuck. I constantly play the mental game of “is this pain from the kidney condition or is it just my head wanting more pills….” And I’d be willing to bet, more often than not, it’s just in my head. It feels like I’m perpetually stuck in this loop of bullshit
 
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