I've been giving myself a blowjob almost every day recently

morrowalnut

OT Supporter
Oct 28, 2004
47,370
First of all this is not a plug, just trying to help out my homies that wanna stay in shape but wisely choose not to go to the gym right now.

My gf thoughtfully purchased one of these resistance training bows for me about a month ago because I kept complaining about missing the gym. A while back I joked in a text to her that I was giving myself a bowjob while using it, and she loved the term so it just sort of stuck.

I was extremely skeptical of how effective it was going to be compared with going to the gym, but I have to say I am quite impressed with how versatile and effective this piece of equipment can be. It's definitely easier to get more accomplished in less time at the gym or with any real home gym setup, but for 70 bucks this thing ain't bad.


71s2e7LXRKL.__AC_SY300_QL70_ML2_.jpg


With nothing but the bow and body you can do bicep curls, shoulder presses, deadlifts, front squats, glute bridges (I think that's the name), overhead triceps extension

With a little redneck engineering I can hook it up to my] pullup bar and use it to do lat pulls (i know it's redundant since there is a pullup bar but let's be honest guys, doing lat pulls during a back workout is a lot less likely to make you too winded to power through the next set like real pullups), rows, tricep extension (either pushing down or overheard), bow crunches" (same as rope crunches), decline chest press.

Or hook it around my bedframe and do the exercise featured in the video below... I can't remember what they are called


And, of course, you can use a bench or any similar object to do bench presses


The only limitation I find is that the basic set only comes with up to 100lb of resistance so for chest press, deadlift and squat you're SoL unless you're weak or down to do sets of 40-50. you can get extensions for it but fortunately it turns out that my chest and legs are more responsive to resistance training than any of my other muscle groups so I can get away with working them less.

Seems no matter how much I try to work my shoulders, there is a wall they never surpass. I have read that shoulders muscle hypertrophy is more responsive to androgens than any other kind of muscle group so maybe I just have low test :( doctor said it was fine

If you're feeling down, try giving yourself a bowjob. science says it will probably help you feel at least little bit better

have a good day gents :love:
 
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morrowalnut

morrowalnut

OT Supporter
Oct 28, 2004
47,370
Surprised nobody chimed in with the name of that exercise. I would guess some kind row? I feel it in my anterior and side delts mostly
 

Snake Pliskin

OT Supporter
May 8, 2013
13,595
California
In high school a buddy of mine got a bowflex, the thing that looks like about a 3 foot bar with large rubber bands on each side, at the beginning of summer vacation. Dude was fucking swole when he came back to school. He ended up joining the marines and turned in to a ripped freakin monster.
 
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morrowalnut

morrowalnut

OT Supporter
Oct 28, 2004
47,370
That look at the camera and smile is kind rapey
I was double checking to make sure the entire movement was inside the frame. And that isnt a smile. Idk what to call it but its something you see lifters do fairly commonly.

Edit: i guess sort of like a grimace?
 
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morrowalnut

morrowalnut

OT Supporter
Oct 28, 2004
47,370
I read a thread on reddit recently about a dude who supposedly got mad tinder pussy by advertising the fact that could genuinely autofellate. Idk if true but the story was pretty neat

i am extremely flexible for some weird genetic reason and i still cant do it. Make of that what you will :hsugh:
 
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morrowalnut

morrowalnut

OT Supporter
Oct 28, 2004
47,370
basically how it went down was i saw this and showed it to my gf thinking she might get it for me for christmas but she just bought it (well, the knock off version of it anyway) immediately and explained that it would be stupid to wait on giving a gift like this given the circumstances.

@smell my finger did you buy addon weights? got any tips? this is how I rig it up with my pullup bar to do various exercises not listed on the pamphlet in the box (tri extension, lat pull, underhand row, "rope" crunch, tricep pushdown, ??? - lat and all surrounding muscles on each side separately. if you attempt this use low weight and focus on dialing in perfect form with this one to avoid injuring lower back- and lastly glute bridge (i think thats what they are called anyway. again to avoid injuring your back MAKE SURE you are not using your lower back muscles to do this exercise. you should be squeezing your glutes together, which will raise your hips up. )

 

smell my finger

strive nonetheless towards beauty and truth,
Aug 8, 2001
93,479
N NJ
basically how it went down was i saw this and showed it to my gf thinking she might get it for me for christmas but she just bought it (well, the knock off version of it anyway) immediately and explained that it would be stupid to wait on giving a gift like this given the circumstances.

@smell my finger did you buy addon weights? got any tips? this is how I rig it up with my pullup bar to do various exercises not listed on the pamphlet in the box (tri extension, lat pull, underhand row, "rope" crunch, tricep pushdown, ??? - lat and all surrounding muscles on each side separately. if you attempt this use low weight and focus on dialing in perfect form with this one to avoid injuring lower back- and lastly glute bridge (i think thats what they are called anyway. again to avoid injuring your back MAKE SURE you are not using your lower back muscles to do this exercise. you should be squeezing your glutes together, which will raise your hips up. )



the title of my thread is literally about buying addon weights
 

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