"Hello everyone, this is going to be long, so thank you very much if you take your time to read this. I've been seeing someone since January. Let's call him Jeff. I've never felt like things were so right with any other men. We understand each other very well, we can be ourselves when we're together, we don't judge each other, we have a lot of fun, he truly worries about me and I worry about him... The list goes on, I think you get it. They may be very basic things but I honestly never had all of those with anyone. It's funny because we have very different ideas, and we have had a very different lifestyle and childhood. You could even say our ideas on things such as politics are conflicting, yet I'm not uncomfortable with him nor him with me. We never fight, we just can't do it. We're always able to talk and say what's in our minds without fear. Despite this... He's not even my boyfriend. We live far from each other, we're only able to see each other perhaps once or twice every one or two weeks. He says that he doesn't go out with me because of this, because he feels a relationship requires more time to spend with the other person. I do see his point, but I'm happy with things as they are. I'm not very needy, and I know he's there for me, but sometimes I do wonder if he's just saying excuses, because I've been through so many bullshit with other guys that I don't know what to think anymore. A few months ago, things changed for the worse in his life. His grandmother, who Jeff sees as his own mother because of how close they always were, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a few months ago. She lives very far to the south (Jeff lives now in the north because he moved with his family a few years ago, grandma decided to stay where she was). Because of this, Jeff's mother had to go see her to stand by her side during those tough times. Jeff had to stay home taking care of his little sister while the father was always working. But Jeff didn't have time to take care of her, and his only option was to stop studying and now has to wait until next year to try again due to the nature of the job he was pursuing. A few days later, Jeff told me that his mother decided they would be moving to the south again in June to stay with grandma, because she's going to die for sure in the next months. He's basically forced to move because he depends on them and their money to have something to eat everyday. I don't want to lose him... And I think I am a nobody with no right to tell him what to do. But... I can't stand the idea of doing nothing about it. He doesn't want to live in the south again. There, some people despised him and his family for all the wrong reasons. He has made many good friends here, he was going to get a really good job, and then, there is me, of course... And he's going to lose everything again. It's not the first time he has gone through something like this. That's why I've been thinking and want to ask him if he would like to stay here with me. But it's not so easy. I'm 19 and he's 20. We're both very young, and my mother lives with me. I already talked to her and she has no problem with him living with us. After all, I always had to cope with two of her boyfriends since I was 9. The last one lived with us for five years until a few months ago he moved to a house he recently finished building. I didn't even have to mention that I always respected who she wanted to live with her (and, subsequently, with me). She can see this since she's not a selfish person at all. Quite the opposite actually, she has done too much things for me. I don't think there would be problems with my mother since she's barely home, and they would get along great anyway. She works a lot and spends a lot of time with her BF, often staying in his house. It's almost as if I lived alone. I don't have a work yet (though most likely I'll have one by Christmas, I do study), but since my parents are divorced, the money my father sends me every month is enough to do grocery shopping and help my mother paying our house. I want to ask Jeff in person about living with me, but I haven't seen him in three weeks, since his mother came back home and a few days later she took some holidays again and took all her family with her to visit the grandmother. We still talk on MSN and call each other a lot though, but the wait is killing me as I can't bring myself to request something like this without being before his eyes. I don't think my reasons are so selfish. It's true I want him to be with me, but there are also a lot of issues he has with his family. They don't understand each other anymore. He always has to do whatever they say and has to make a lot of sacrifices for them, which remain with no appreciation. As I said, he had to stop studying to take care of her little sister, and he has been feeling very sad since then. His mother only made unfortunate comments to make things even worse. And this is one easy example out of many others which are much more complex to explain. What matters here is that he has explicitly told me he would feel very disgraced and unhappy if he had to move in June, but at the same time, I know he wants to be with his grandmother until she dies. I do know the feeling. Then he'd probably choose to stay living there, who knows. If he decides to stay with me, he would have to explain his family why he stays, where and with who. And they still know nothing of me for reasons I don't want to discuss, but trust me on this, his reasons are more than justified. But he's an adult. I want him to understand this. He's very mature but lacks the courage to face his family. He should be able to do what he wants with his life if he has options available to him. I post as an anonymous because I guess I'm afraid of the replies. Maybe I'm rushing things, maybe I'm being delusional, immature or stupid. Maybe I'm living in a fairy tale. I understand asking someone to live with you is no joke and is a big decision for both persons. But if I never ask him, it would be hard to live with the lost chance, thinking "maybe if I asked him things would be very different...". And I have a past full of lost chances because I didn't even try to do something about them. And if he says "no", at least I can say I tried. So... Tell me what do you think. Advice, everything, is appreciated. I'm sorry if I'm being vague in some aspects, some things would give away too much information. And the topic is long enough already."