SRS I've really only got one friend...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by VladTemplar, Jul 28, 2007.

  1. VladTemplar

    VladTemplar New Member

    Apr 19, 2007
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    ...and it's the gym.

    I lurk OT and I lurk the Asylum a lot and I hate it when people don't get to the point so I'll try to do you all the favor of being concise.

    Spring 2006 was a bad semester for me and I really started to lose motivation in college. I was failing classes, I was staying up all night and missing classes because I was sleeping, and I drank...a lot. About mid-way through the semester I dropped and salvaged as much as I could, took my one failure, and changed majors. From that point forward I started to bust my ass academically. While I made a 1.2 that semester, I made a 3.5 that summer, and a 3.5 that fall.

    My only solace, my only real friend at the time was food. I ate a lot. Whatever you think is a lot, multiply it, perhaps exponentially for some, because I ate a whole lot. However I justified it all because I was doing better in school and getting my shit togeter.

    This January (2007) I weighed in at 380 pounds and it didn't hit me till I boarded my flight from Dallas to Amsterdam for my semester abroad: I couldn't even buckle the seatbelt on my seat. Awash in shame I swore to myself right then and there that I had to lose weight. Living in Europe (2nd time doing a semester abroad) will help you lose weight, smaller portions and lots of walking, and I came back home weighing in a 350lbs at the end of April. I also pulled off a 3.85 and made dean's list.

    I knew I was doing a summer session where I had to take a golf class and a weight training class (we're required to have 4 1hr classes in physical stuff, whatever) so I decided to start working out. I've been working out 5 days a week since the beginning of May (the regiment isn't important, lets jsut say its doctor approved and it's been working well).

    Fast forward to now, I've been working out for 3 months and I'm in much better shape...but I'm not any happier. I'm probably close to 300 pounds now, obviously still way overweight, but I've come a long ways.

    I don't have any friends here (I'm home for the summer) nor do I have any at school (I cut myself off socially because I demanded my grades improve, social life be damned). All it seems I have to look forward to anymore is ging to the gym. Its the only time I see people, but I don't know anyone there and I'm pretty young among the people there (I'm 21).

    I haven't had a girlfriend since high school (was in better shape, around 270). I have only had sex once, and a random encounter with the same girl a couple months later, so no real sex life. My only dating was short short lived at 3wks and that was with a hyper-religious girl, so no real dating experience.

    I'm not unrealistic, I don't expect to just walk somewhere and be showered in adoration by women, but goddammit I've been busting my ass and would like to at least find someone or something I can get out and enjoy now that I'm getting in better shape. I'm gone again this fall (London) and I know I won't be able to make many relationships there (working hardcore for a think tank as an intern).

    So basically, I don't know how to find happiness (yay, another one of these threads!). I can't find anything I enjoy and I fight turning back to food each and every fucking day (doctor put me on orlistat to help me lose weight in conjunction with the exercise). I'd just like to find something to enjoy.

    I really am a nice guy despite my sometimes sarcastic jackass demeanor (and I quickly apologize if I do anything around anyone who doesn't know me to make sure they know I'm not being serious, if they find it offensive, I stop it) and it seems I can't even find a decent girl to spend some time with and just be fucking normal. Instead I work out and that's all.

    I don't even know, sorry about this, way too long.

    1. I nearly failed college
    2. Kicked my own ass into gear
    3. Recovered academically, but cut off social life & gained massive weight
    4. Decided to lose weight
    5. Gym constantly
    6. No friends
    7. No relationship experience
    8. No profit
  2. johan

    johan Active Member

    Nov 4, 2003
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    Sahasrara; magnetic violet infinite
    Finish school, get your degree and get a good job.
    The girls will come after that.

    Not everyone can juggle an active social life, a thriving academic career and a healthy personal regimen all at the same time.

    You're not one of those people, which is no particular shame, you just need to evaluate your priorities (as you have already done) and just stick to it.

    Continue in school. Do well. Get a good job.
    After you get that good job/career, I expect that given your determination you can refocus on your personal life and will enjoy some success there.

    First things first.
    School. Job. Life. Girls. Family.

    stick to the program and you'll be doing just fine.
  3. tidalxwave

    tidalxwave WWKD? OT Supporter

    Aug 19, 2004
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    calculate your Body Mass Index, get into a healthy range,

    and everything will follow, when you look better, you feel healthier, breeds confidence especially because you're not just losing weight, you're building muscle mass at the same time.

    Go to the gym 2-4 hours a day,

    Lift weights for an hour - hour and a half
    do a cardio class
    core muscle work outs
    and treadmill / elliptical machines for half an hour

    If you do that consistently for 2 months and eat right:

    Eat light breakfast, drink a health shake, early light dinner (before 7) with a possible LIGHT midnight snack, then you'll be ok.

    feel healthy - more energy - breeds confidence - do well in school - do well in social life - everything will just fall into place.
  4. mrchina

    mrchina Guest

    Why not try to make friends at the gym? You must see the same people fairly often? Just go up and say hi. Or since you want good grades join a study group? You'll meet people through that and since they are serious about studying then maybe you'll have other things in common as wel?
  5. VladTemplar

    VladTemplar New Member

    Apr 19, 2007
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    Problem is that I'm never in any one place for very long, it makes building friendships very hard.
  6. Legend Zero

    Legend Zero OT Supporter

    Jan 14, 2005
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    i have some similar problems to yours as a college student.. and my only suggestion would be to join one club... if you are really into your major than join the club involving that major and i'm sure you will befriend some people in there and than start from there...

    all it really takes is to get to know one or two people and than you can meet people who they know. :)

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