Jealousy - intentions behind managing it?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by glass, Jun 12, 2007.

  1. glass

    glass New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2004
    Messages:
    399
    Likes Received:
    0
    1. is arousing jealousy typically used to encourage or discourage advances?
    2. how do you tell the difference between an attempt to encourage from an attempt to discourage action by arousing jealousy?


    - i'm at a bar with a girl friend. on the way back, she makes a point to keep mentioning that she's working closely with the guy she came in with. as the three of us walkd, she's chatty/playful with him, talks about guys being from where he is as being oh so good, and even offers him her coat because it was cold (yes, wtf). she easily could've used a better looking guy, so i just roll my eyes.

    - i have dinner with a girl friend. right after dinner she lets me know that her (guy) friends are picking her up to go clubbing. it's a little sudden and uncommon (usually we go for coffee/dessert), and i'm certain the abruptness of it was deliberate.

    - a girl friend stayed at a male colleague's place overnight to work on a project. she makes a point to mention that a lot of co-workers did similar due to the weight of the project, that nothing happened, she's not interested in the guy, etc.

    - another girl friend mentions a guy who's come onto her recently. asks me whether she should consider going out with him after talking a bit about the type of guy he is, her expectations, etc. i tell her to go for it. a few days later she says she's decided not to see him even for a date.


    it's a simplistic to say "if girl likes you, she will try to make you jealous." but i'm sure there are similarities in all attempts where people use jealousy to demonstrate value/increase attraction. is there a rule of thumb to the whole thing?
     
  2. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2004
    Messages:
    4,607
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Melbourne
    You can never have a blanket rule, everyone does things differently. However, I've found, as you seem to have, that a lot of girls do try and make you jealous to see how you'll react. I tend to roll my eyes like you did, or play along and encourage them to do whatever they want. I can't be bothered with games so I wouldn't try and put it back onto them.

    If you feel like giving the same back then you could try the same kinda tactics. When she puts it out there, just give something back and see how she reacts.
     
  3. glass

    glass New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2004
    Messages:
    399
    Likes Received:
    0
    mm, well those are just two girls really. i just used "a girl friend" so as to keep the discussion on a general level. for that example w the girl going out to with a bunch of guys, just suppose for sake of discussion that she was doing it deliberately.

    i like "rolling eyes" and keeping cool as a strategy, but is it always the best strategy?
     
  4. NCS

    NCS Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2002
    Messages:
    5,762
    Likes Received:
    1
    you just need to set the right point. before a certain point, be totally unresponsive. past a certain point, scold them (note: be firm, not emotional)
     

Share This Page